Woman Who Was Set To Adopt Faces Backlash For 'Goodbye' Post After Birth Mom Decides To Keep Her Baby
She and her husband's disappointment at not getting to take home their adopted daughter shouldn't be ignored.
Facebook A woman and her husband had been in the process of adopting a baby and were excited about a new addition to their family. However, all of their plans were soon crushed.
Page Hearn and her husband, Warren Cash, were preparing to become new parents to a baby girl and were thrilled at the prospect of taking their baby home once she was born. What was initially supposed to be a heartwarming homecoming turned into tears, as Hearn and Cash were forced to say goodbye instead.
She and her husband's adoption plan fell through after the baby's birth mother decided to keep her daughter.
Hearn took to Facebook, sharing a "goodbye" post she had written after finding out that the baby girl she and her husband had planned on adopting wouldn't be coming home with them anymore, and would instead be going with her birth mother.
"I would love to tell you that we have spent the last few days soaking in the joy of being new parents, but our birth mom changed her mind at discharge and they took our little girl," Hearn wrote in her heartbreaking post.
"Instead of coming home to her room, she went home to an empty RV with only the outfit she was wearing. No crib, no clothes, no books, no bassinet, no nothing, her 'home' is as empty as our hearts."
Hearn continued, writing that she and her husband were now grieving what could've been, and instead of bringing their baby home, they were forced to say goodbye. "We spent 5 months remodeling our house and getting her room ready, but now our house no longer feels like home."
"Carrying that empty car seat out of the hospital and into our house were the hardest steps I've ever taken in my life," she added. "I keep praying she will change her mind but I'm also truly struggling with my faith."
Hearn admitted that it would take some time before she and her family would be able to find peace with the birth mother's decision and move on with their lives, but for now, the pain of not having the baby girl they had planned for was too difficult to put into words.
"I'm cold, I'm numb, I'm broken, I'm angry, I'm crushed, and I don't even know how to start picking up the pieces and moving forward," Hearn declared. "We need time, and I don't know how long it will take or if I'll ever find a way to get back to being me."
Hearn received backlash for being 'too harsh' with how she described the baby's new home with her birth mother.
Hearns' Facebook post immediately went viral, and much of the criticism she received was from people who felt she had spoken too harshly about the baby's birth mother taking the infant back to "an empty RV." Many accused Hearn of shaming the mother for not having enough money, and essentially being "poor."
"It's the poverty shaming. Be sad sure... but then shame the mother for having less than you. No, I have no sympathy after reading that," one commenter wrote.
Another added, "If you really didn't want people to ask, you wouldn't have made the post public, but you wanted the birth mom to see the post and feel guilty for keeping her own daughter. So gross."
While Hearn's words may have seemed harsh to many people, her grief and dejection of no longer being able to adopt a baby that she had spent months planning for are extremely valid.
When adoptive parents go through the process of preparing to welcome a child into their family, they invest not only financial resources but also become emotionally attached. They eagerly await the arrival of this new addition to their family and have already formed expectations and built a bond with the idea of becoming parents.
When all of that is taken away, it can leave adopted parents, such as Hearn and her husband, to feel nothing but misery. The adoption process is already long and sometimes disheartening, so just imagine going through that entire endeavor, only to not be able to take a baby home at the end of it.
Grief and heartbreak can cause people to become a different version of themselves, but we need to be able to hold space for people going through tumultuous times. without nitpicking their words and essentially making them feel worse.
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.