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Woman Tells Boyfriend She Doesn't Want Him To Bring His Children To Her Family's Christmas Dinner

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baby crying

Navigating a relationship while your partner has kids can be tricky. But one thing everybody agrees with is that the kids come first, always. 

One woman is starting to realize that the hard way. 

She shared her story to Reddit’s “r/AmITheA–hole” (AITA), a subreddit where users from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives.

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The woman suggested her boyfriend leave his kids with their mother for Christmas. 

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months,” she opens the story. 

She explains that her boyfriend has two children, an 11-year-old and a 7-year-old. 

But she notes that it's their first Christmas with her family and only his second time meeting them. 

Due to this, she made a controversial suggestion to him. 

“I suggested that since this is his first Christmas with my family, he might be feeling a little stressed and having the kids there too might not be the best idea,” she said. 

She explained that it might be better for the children to be with their mother for the holiday while he attended the festivities with her and her family. 

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“He got offended and took it as if I was hiding/excluding his kids from my family. I explained not wanting to expose the kids to any awkward moments between him and my family since it's the first holiday they spend together and they don't know him that much.”

He was upset and said he felt “sad for the kids” because of her suggestion, explaining that it’s his turn for Christmas this year and he wasn’t going to give it up. 

The two further argued and after she said it was “just a suggestion,” he yelled at her to stop trying to justify it. 

Reddit has agreed the woman is in the wrong. 

When dating somebody with children, they come as a package deal and one user acutely pointed this out in their reply. 

“Kids will always, and should always come first,” they wrote. 

They also gave some suggestions to the woman. 

“If you think it may be a little awkward maybe you should consider waiting doing Christmas with your family and his kids when you’ve all known each other for longer than 11 months. The way I see it you have two options: have Christmas with your boyfriend and his kids and catch up with your parents afterward or let him enjoy his Christmas and catch up with them afterwards if you want to be with your family.”

Another user pointed out how insulting it was for the woman to frame this as her being "considerate" of her boyfriend, knowing how much he loves his children. 

“OP is a major AH for trying to frame this as being considerate of the boyfriend when in reality she wants to ditch the kids for her own convenience,” they wrote. 

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Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news

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