Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
The guest suffered from body dysmorphia, but was it really appropriate to ask that someone else cover up for the sake of her feelings?
By Megan Quinn — Written on Jun 10, 2023
After a man brought his girlfriend to a friend’s pool party, he was pulled aside and asked if he could tell her to “cover up” after she offended a guest struggling with her own body image. When his girlfriend declined the request, the guest left the party in tears and the man and his girlfriend were branded as “a–holes” by other people.
Now, the man is asking others if they were wrong and if they were being insensitive toward the guest’s feelings.
The man’s girlfriend was asked to cover up her body at a pool party after making another woman who had recently given birth insecure.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, "r/AmItheA**hole" (AITA), the 30-year-old man revealed that he and his 26-year-old girlfriend Alex were invited to a pool party at one of the man’s friends’ houses.
One of the other guests who would be at the party was a good friend of the man’s named Christine, who recently gave birth and was suffering from postpartum depression.
Photo: PhotoSunnyDays / Shutterstock
Postpartum depression, also called PPD, is a condition women can suffer after childbirth where one experiences depression or anxiety. Symptoms include irritability, mood swings, trouble focusing, insecurity, among others.
“She was looking forward to the occasion to help lighten her mood,” the man noted of Christine and the pool party.
At the party, all of the guests were wearing some form of swimming gear, including his girlfriend Alex, who turned many heads due to her slender figure. “[She] is a model/influencer, and as you can imagine she’s very beautiful,” the man wrote. “Alex stole the show; however, she didn’t wear anything too revealing or inappropriate.”
While Alex was swimming in the pool, one of the other party guests, Jane, pulled him aside. “She asked if Alex could cover up a little bit because Christine was getting upset by her appearance,” he revealed. “I asked how, and apparently Christine’s PPD has manifested itself into a bad case of body dysmorphia. She said Alex is making her jealous and triggering her dysmorphia.”
While he did not completely agree with Jane’s request, the man did ask Alex if she could cover up. While she understood and empathized with Christine’s depression, she did not understand why she had to cover herself for the sake of someone else’s feelings.
After she refused to cover up, another guest branded them as insensitive.
“Needless to say, she didn’t do it,” the man wrote. Christine wound up leaving the party two hours later. After she left, the man was again approached by Jane.
“Jane came up to me and said Christine left because she couldn’t stop crying,” he wrote. “She also said me and Alex are a–holes for not being accommodating to Christine’s feelings.”
While the man understands that PPD is a serious condition and recognizes that Christine is dealing with a lot, he does not believe that he and Alex acted unfairly and asked other Redditors if they could have done anything differently.
Redditors supported the man and his girlfriend.
“PPD sucks... But I will never expect someone [to] cover up for my feelings. Christine needs therapy,” one user commented.
“It isn't your girlfriend's job to make Christine feel better about herself. Your girlfriend is a person with feelings as well,” another user pointed out.
Photo: Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock
Other users noted that the man’s girlfriend was being unfairly body shamed.
“Someone shouldn't have to cover up because they look ‘too good,’” one user wrote. “Saying that her body is distressing to someone and telling her to hide herself is pretty sh***y and essentially a form of body shaming,” another user shared.
Other users recommended that Christine avoid pool parties for the time being since it is probably not the best environment to be in.
“Christine was going to get upset with someone. It wasn’t your girlfriend, it was the environment. Christine wasn’t ready,” one user pointed out. “Welcome to life, Christine. Literally CRYING at a party because someone was prettier than her is not doing her any favors for other people's perceptions of her,” another user wrote.
While Christine’s insecurities about her body are normal and valid, she should not expect anyone around her to cover up their own bodies for the sake of her feelings.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.