After A Principal Told A Teenage Boy He Couldn't Wear His Hoodie In Class, Woman Bashes The Way Parents & Teachers Deal With Kids
Most adults are blinded by the authoritative power they carry over children.
TikTok A woman is calling out the unnecessary power struggle displayed by adults toward children after her boyfriend's son argued with his principal about not being allowed to wear an article of clothing in class.
In a TikTok video, Kristín, who doesn't have children of her own, blasted the way adults will sometimes speak to children just because they have authority over them, pointing out that speaking to children in that manner doesn't accomplish anything.
She bashed parents and teachers for the ridiculous rules that they force upon kids to follow.
In Kristín's video, she explained that her boyfriend's son, who is 12 and in middle school, had come home from school and revealed that he had to go speak to his principal that day because he had been wearing a hood in class.
"He refused to take his hood off in class," she said. "His principal said, 'It's a privilege for you to wear your hood in class and you're not allowed to wear your hood in class anymore for the rest of the year.'"
She acknowledged that she found it "funny" that the young boy had come home and told her what had happened because previously, Kristín had been thinking about how "adults just engage in such pointless power struggles with teenagers."
She pointed out that throughout her life working with kids, living with kids, and helping her boyfriend raise his kids now, she has consistently noticed things like that among other parents, as someone who doesn't have kids herself, or people who work with kids.
"Anybody who's in any type of authoritative role with children [will] engage in these useless power struggles all the time," she continued. "The reason why I say they're useless is [that] they don't teach these kids anything about life."
According to Verywell Family, engaging in power struggles with kids just makes it more difficult for them to comply with the rules. "When you and your child are both frustrated and angry, you aren’t likely to be able to accomplish anything," Amy Morin, LCSW, a psychotherapist, wrote for the publication.
"When kids can engage you in a power struggle, it often delays their task. When adults enter into a power struggle the goal is to win. Sometimes the more desperate a parent becomes to get a child to comply, the more resistant the child grows."
Kristín pointed out that by engaging with children with an authoritative mindset, they aren't learning anything useful.
As she has noticed the power struggles between adults and children, Kristín explained that those methods don't teach children how to be a "member of society or a functioning adult."
"When I sit down with my boyfriend and we're trying to brainstorm how to make sure that his two teenagers make it to adulthood, one of the things we ask ourselves is, what is the most logical, adult, natural consequence that would happen if this child were a fully grown adult doing this?" she shared.
"What would that consequence look like and how can we best mimic that to teach them about the real world?"
Kristín explained that when thinking from that perspective, oftentimes she'll realize that the things she gets upset about with kids don't actually matter in the long run.
"Yes, kids can be stupid, dangerous, and risky, and we address it then. Most of the sh-t that we get worked up with our kids is just pointless control bullsh-t."
"They're little people who are barreling toward adulthood with little real guidance other than 'do what you're told,'" Kristín added. "These young people want to figure out how to survive on their own, they don't want to be told what to do all the time."
Instead of talking down to children and having them follow rules set in place that they may not understand, Kristín pointed out that as adults, they should "guide" young children instead.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics.