Photo: TikTok, pathdoc / Shutterstock
A white gown is one thing but this mother-in-law wanted to wear a wedding dress to celebrate her son's marriage.
By Maddie Haley — Written on Apr 09, 2023
It is an unspoken rule that you should never wear white as a wedding guest. Over eighty percent of brides wear white on their wedding day, so if a guest does, it can be seen as an attempt to outshine the bride — which is a big no-no.
Some believe wearing white is acceptable, as long as it doesn't distract from the bride and groom. But it isn’t about the outfit as much as it’s about knowing your place and allowing the couple to be the main event.
One bride’s mother-in-law went viral on TikTok after asking if she could wear a white bridal gown to her son’s wedding.
Daniella Ferrara is a woman who documents her life as a newlywed and mom to one son. She also happens to have a “toxic” mother-in-law, and posts videos explaining the multiple times her husband’s mother has crossed her boundaries or said hurtful things.
The first disagreement between the two began when Ferrara’s mother-in-law was figuring out what to wear to her son’s wedding. She sent Ferrara pictures of the dresses she was considering, and one of them was a full-length white dress.
Ferrara posted a screenshot of her mother-in-law’s text to TikTok, and one user pointed out that the dress name had the word “bridal” in it. “How could she possibly think that’s okay!”, said the user.
Others thought her mother-in-law must have been joking, commenting with response suggestions such as "omg thank you but I already found my dress lol," and "LOL! that's so funny, but what are you actually wearing."
Making it clear that her dress choice wasn't just a mistake, her mother-in-law also commented on the longevity of their commitment. In another TikTok captioned, “I win for most toxic mil,” Ferrara revealed that her mother-in-law told mutual friends and family that the couple had at most ten years before a divorce. This is a crazy comment to make considering Ferrara's son is her grandchild.
Of course, we're not getting Ferrara's mother-in-law's side of the story so there's no way to really know how "toxic" she is but one thing is for sure, wearing white to a wedding is a rule that most people don't need to be explained to them.
Many find themselves dealing with a jealous mother-in-law before getting married.
After a mother gives their son away, the idea that they have lost their son’s love to you may trigger feelings of jealousy, judgment, and resentment.
Of course, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the attachment they have with their child. Marriage can bring up a lot of these feelings, as it represents the start of a new chapter. In some mother-in-law’s eyes, a wedding is an end to receiving the love they have from their child after so many years.
However, you are not to blame for her son choosing you — he’s old enough to decide who he wants to love. That’s not on you.
Mothers should trust that they raised their son with values and that whoever their son chooses to marry will reflect the values that they have instilled in him. They should teach their son how to love and treat women, not for themselves, but for the lucky one that gets to be their wife one day.
If you find yourself in a position where your mother-in-law is speaking ill about you, giving you the cold shoulder, or comparing you to others, try to put yourself in her shoes and see it from her point of view.
It may be hard, but having a conversation about boundaries or going out of your way to show your appreciation for the woman who raised your husband – no matter how judgemental she may be — could help ease conflict.
At the end of the day, remember that he chose you for a reason and that you are always good enough.
Maddie Haley is a writer for YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers pop culture and celebrity news.