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Server Overhears A Woman Talking About Her Pregnancy & Decides To Make Her Drinks Non-Alcoholic But Stands His Ground After She Complains

Photo: 10 FACE / Africa Studio / Shutterstock 
pregnant woman, alcohol

Growing up, we are often encouraged to never be a “bystander” and let injustices happen when we see them unfolding. However, is there a point where we should draw the line and refrain from getting involved? In some cases, many believe so. 

One restaurant server learned this after he was accused of overstepping boundaries when he refused to serve alcohol to a customer he presumed to be pregnant. Now, he is wondering if he should have stayed out of her decisions. 

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The server overheard one of his customers talking about her pregnancy and decided to make her drinks non-alcoholic. 

Sharing his story to the Reddit forum, r/AmTheA–hole, the waiter sought the opinion of other users regarding the situation. 

He began his post by revealing that he had been working as a waiter for the last three years. During a recent shift, he had a group of women who appeared to be in their late 20s seated in his section. 

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The man claims that the women were “a pleasure to have as customers” and ordered a round of the restaurant’s signature house cocktails. 

“When I was on my way back to their booth with the drinks on a tray, I walked by the back side and overheard one of them talking about how she was 14 weeks along,” he wrote. “When I rounded back, they were talking about the same topic and it was clear to me that she was pregnant.” 

Medical professionals encourage women to refrain from drinking alcohol during pregnancy, as it can lead to a condition called fetal alcohol syndrome in their unborn babies. Symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome include facial abnormalities, low body weight, speech and language delays, and learning disabilities. 

However, the man served the women their drinks, assuming that one would not do any harm and it was not his place to tell the woman otherwise. Five minutes later, the group asked for another round. “At this point, I started getting concerned,” the man admitted. 

Still, he took their orders and reported that he would be right back. What the women were unaware of was that he instructed the bartender to make the presumably pregnant woman’s drink non-alcoholic. 

“He was confused but since he's a good friend of mine, I told him to just trust me,” the waiter wrote. 

It appeared that the woman did not notice that her drinks did not contain alcohol. 

“A few cocktails later (hers strictly virgin) they started getting rowdy, and Mrs. Pregnant Woman was also getting into it,” the man shared. 

However, when he dropped off their check, he noticed that the woman’s drinks were marked as ‘virgin’ in the system. Since the group asked to split the bill, this was something she would likely catch. 

Thankfully as she paid, she didn’t notice and left the man a generous tip before going out to the parking lot to wait for an Uber. 

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However, several minutes later, she returned inside inquiring about the bill. “Mrs. Pregnant Woman came back and asked what (virgin) on the receipt meant,” the man wrote. “I fessed up that it meant non-alcoholic.” 

The woman appeared to be confused and asked if she had ordered non-alcoholic drinks. “I said no, but told her that I assumed she wanted one seeing as she was pregnant,” the waiter admitted. 

The woman then asked for her portion of the tip back, which he granted her. She reported the server to his manager, who called him into her office and “shrieked” at him until her voice was hoarse. The manager claimed that the restaurant could land in serious trouble for discrimination. Upon examination of the state laws, the waiter realized that she was right. 

However, he still attempted to defend his decision. “I stood my ground and told her that I'm not going to be responsible for fetal alcohol syndrome,” he wrote. 

The man was taken off the schedule until further notice. Even though he claims that the entire restaurant staff is against him, his parents understood his viewpoint. “I think that I'm going to call in and tell my manager that I quit, but I still feel in the right here,” he wrote. He asked for the perspective of other Reddit users. 

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Many Redditors believed that the server was in the wrong and he had no right to deny the woman alcohol. 

“Don't f–k with peoples’ food and drinks in any capacity,” one user commented. “We don't get to advocate for ‘her body her choice’ and then turn around and do s–t like this,” another user wrote. 

Others pointed out that the server had no confirmation that the woman actually was pregnant and was only acting based on assumptions. 

“I mean she could've been 14 weeks along on a new diet or workout schedule,” one user noted. 

“She may have been talking about a past pregnancy (or worse, past miscarriage), someone else, a surrogate carrying for her, or even just a play in which she was acting as a pregnant woman,” another user added. 

Although the server may have believed he was stepping in to save the day, he should have refrained from inflicting his personal morals onto his customers, especially considering that there was no definitive proof that the woman was indeed pregnant. 

Even if she was, every human has the right to bodily autonomy to determine what they see fit for their bodies. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.