Photo: TikTok
To each their own.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on Jun 04, 2023
A mom-to-be named Courtney opened up a conversation on TikTok after discussing her experience telling her “toxic mom” that she was pregnant.
In a video, she touched on her mom's request to not be referred to as "grandma" — which isn't an unreasonable ask in itself but coupled with some of her other responses, it caused a lot of people to discuss how their own toxic mothers ditched the term "grandma" in favor of something a little more self-centered.
In her TikTok bio, Courtney explains that her page is for "Parenting [and] Lifestyle" content and that she cultivates "A safe place for cycle-breakers."
Viewers resonated with Courtney who shared her mom's less than excited response to her pregnancy. "Well, I am too young to be a grandma," she recalled her mom saying, "So what is he gonna call me? You know what I always thought was cute? Mimi! Don’t you love the way that sounds? Mimi. Me, Me, Me, Me."
Photo: TikTok
Other moms said their mothers picked alternatives to 'grandma' and many were... strange.
The top comment on Courtney’s post came from another mom, who stated, “My mom asked to be called ‘Girlfriend’ instead of Grandma and was upset when I said no.”
Courtney made a follow-up TikTok in direct response to that comment, explaining, “Well, now I’m just curious, so if your mother or mother-in-law wants to be called a weird grandma name, can you please drop it here?”
"From this thread alone I saw Girlfriend and Hottie, and I’m also in a Facebook group where I recently saw Badger, Possum, Sugar, and Cookie," Courtney said.
“I knew a woman named Fran and her grandchildren called her Franma,” one person commented. “My mom’s friend goes by Shrimpy,” said someone else.
Some of the names people shared were chosen by the grandkids, and exemplify what the children love about their grandparents.
"My niece's favorite food in the world is berries," said one person. "My dad buys her Costco-sized berries every time he sees her. He is Grandpa Berry."
“My mom’s grandma name is Meow-Meow. She didn’t choose it, but her oldest grandson named her that,” stated another person.
“We were calling my mom Grammy,” one mom shared, “but at 1, my son decided she was ‘Baked Bean’ and now 2 years later she is still ‘Baked Bean.’”
It’s not entirely surprising that some women don’t want to be called grandma as we live in a society where youth is endlessly praised. Older women, especially, are discarded as not holding value. As many of the TikTok comments show, grandparents can attempt to designate names for themselves, but ultimately, it's the grandkids, themselves, who decide if you’re a Grandma or a Baked Bean.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.