Photo: Instagram & TikTok
She has been working on using 'gentle parenting' but finds it challenging when her son tests her limits.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on Mar 24, 2023
Gentle parenting is having its shining moment within the parenting zeitgeist. Gentle parenting can be defined as utilizing certain techniques to “raise confident, independent, and happy children through empathy, respect and understanding, and setting healthy boundaries [by focusing] on age-appropriate development.”
Part of this parenting style is setting limits and boundaries, and explaining consequences for certain behaviors ahead of time so that kids know what to expect. It's a method of conscious parenting that requires a fair amount of work from parents to unlearn certain disciplinarian parenting methods and relearn new ways of raising their kids.
Gentle parenting isn’t easy. Many parents see clear benefits while others have a harder time navigating the parenting method.
One mom explained the challenges of using gentle parenting with her son after he started a wrestling match in the school library.
22-year-old Gabbie Egan, from Cincinnati, Ohio, took to TikTok to tell a story about gentle parenting her 9-year-old son but says that it’s hard to do when he starts wrestling matches in the school library.
“I’ve really been trying to work on my gentle parenting, but I’m 22 years old with a 9-year-old son,” Egan said. “My son might be shy, calm, cool, and collected, but I know my kid, and he can be trouble sometimes.”
“I’m going through my day today, and I’m working, [and] literally about to start heading home, and my husband texts me and says he got a call from the school principal about my son at school today.”
“My son was running in the library, and then it literally turned into a wrestling match with 4 boys.”
“The librarian didn’t know what to do,” Egan stated. “The school principal had to come down and break it up, apparently. Now my son has detention and is not allowed to stand up in the library for 2 weeks.”
Marcela Collier of High Impact Club Parenting Education offers guidance on how to use gentle parenting on tweens and teens. Egan's son is technically a tween, which is defined as starting at 9 years old.
Collier states that “you need to have a relationship with your tween or teen” in order to have “open pathways of communication to address those big topics” that tweens and teens struggle to navigate.
Collier also notes that it’s important to manage your own expectations while gentle parenting. She explains that they may "look like little adults, but their brain is still undeveloped."
"When you allow their developmentally-appropriate behaviors to get under your skin, then you won't be effective doing gentle parenting." She also recommends that parents allow their kids "to have an opinion and a say," which is important for their own development.
"They're not little kids anymore; they have judgment. Sometimes their judgment is off, so we need to guide them, but still, even if it's off, allow them to live the natural consequences," Collier advises.
Gentle parenting older children may be challenging, yet being consistent and setting boundaries can benefit kids deeply.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.