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Mom Blamed By Son’s High School Girlfriend For Only Offering To Pay Tuition If He Waits Until After College To Marry Her

Photo: New Africa / Shutterstock
Wife and mother fight over young man

A mom took to Reddit's AITA, or “Am I the A-hole," subreddit to receive guidance over a blowout with her family that she’s worried might be her fault.

The mom writes that years ago, she convinced her son to wait until after college to propose to his girlfriend, offering to pay his tuition if he did.

Now, the situation has blown up after the couple became engaged; her son’s fiancé made a scene at Christmas dinner, airing out everything the mom had done in front of the family.

The mother now worries that she had been in the wrong all along, and she asked the subreddit for outside opinions on the situation.

Reddit users were quick to respond to her situation, and they came to a quick verdict as to whether she was “the a-hole” or not.

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Her story starts with a difficult choice four years ago.

When her son Dan was about to graduate high school, he told his mother that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, who the mother refers to as “Fran” in the post.

This, as the mother details in her post, was despite having “multiple college options which he was going to decline to stay in our town and marry Fran,” which his mother did not approve of.

She also worried that their relationship may not last, as they had only dated for a year in high school thus far.

Therefore, she made her son a deal. If he went to college and delayed marriage, even for a year or two, she would pay his college tuition for him.

He agreed to this and maintained a long-distance relationship with Fran while he went away to college.

Years later, that proposal has come back to haunt her.

After graduating this year, her son and Fran announced their engagement, and, according to his mom, everyone was “ecstatic about it.”

However, his mother goes on to say, “Sometime between then and now, my son told Fran that I was the reason he waited until now to propose.”

Fran revealed this to her soon-to-be mother-in-law at Christmas dinner, where she spoke to the entire family about the situation.

According to the mother, Fran “began saying I paid my son to not married her and actively tried to ruin their relationship. She then said she was blessed that 'evil hadn't won' and couldn't wait to have a long and happy marriage.”

This bombshell unsurprisingly shocked the entire family, and although her son and Fran later apologized about how it went down, the mother began to worry that she had been in the wrong from the beginning, due to the varying opinions of all her friends and family.

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Reddit was quick to come to a decision, and the verdict was: “Not the A-hole.”

Going through the comments, it’s hard to find users who agree with Fran on the situation, which is not necessarily surprising, from the story.

Many users argue that the mother’s actions had no real harm, and in fact actually helped the couple in some significant ways.

Other users hypothesized that the way Fran handled the situation was a sign that Dan’s mother had been right to worry all along.

The mother who originally posted about her story even followed up with an update that Dan is now interested in law school — which Fran is against — adding further contention to their relationship.

His mother even wrote that “Dan has read this thread and is now feeling unsure about their relationship.”

While I would personally never suggest that a couple break up over comments on Reddit, I also wouldn’t claim that a fiancé who calls her mother-in-law “evil” for trying to encourage her husband’s career over a high school relationship is someone that is necessarily good for him.

But only time will tell how everyone will fare from the situation — the mother has already added several edits to the post with updates, and the original story only occurred a few days ago on Christmas.

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Amanda Hartmann is a writer and editorial intern at YourTango who writes on news and entertainment.

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