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Woman Says Husband Refuses To Be There When She Gives Birth Because He Thinks It’s ‘Gross’

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Couple at the hospital with their baby

An upset mother-to-be turned to Slate’s advice column, “Dear Prudence”, after her husband told her he didn't want to be in the delivery room when she went into labor.

She's still very early in her pregnancy, not even in the second trimester yet, so there is hope he will change his mind but the situation has left her confused about how to move forward.

Her husband thinks it would be 'gross' to watch her give birth.

She told Slate that she has been a bit stressed about how the delivery would go. 

“I know that you can only prepare, not plan, but no matter what happens or what birth looks like, I want my spouse (and only him) there with me,” the woman explained.

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She made sure to add the fact that her husband has been quite supportive of her pregnancy up to this point, but now he has turned the other way when it came to being in the delivery room at the time of birth.

While this may put the man in a bad light, he claims there is a reason for his behavior.

'He comes from a country and culture where the husbands usually stay at home during the delivery or at most hang out in the waiting room,' she explained.

As he has been conditioned to that since being a child, he doesn’t see him being any different.

Even so, the woman has talked to her husband to forget about it for this one instance as she needs him in there with her.

The man has voiced his thoughts but the woman found them less than pleasing.

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“He’s not sure how he can help, he’s afraid of getting paralyzed and ending up doing or saying something counterproductive, and has hinted a little at witnessing the ‘grossness’ of it,” the wife added.

After that response, the woman understood her husband's feelings and opinions and didn't want to force him, but she still felt that her preferences mattered so turned to the advice column for some help. 

‘Prudence’ offered advice and stated that the woman’s husband was wrong.

Prudence didn’t appreciate the husband’s attitude and thought that he would be no help whatsoever to his wife.

“Tell him he can do whatever he wants. Because he’s showing so much weakness right now that I don’t think he’d be a supportive presence anyway. Get your mom, a friend, a doula, or a combination,” She wrote.

She further claimed that this behavior from her husband isn't temporary and could become a hurdle when raising their kid.

She added, “He’s telling you that he’s almost certainly going to be the kind of dad who decides to be helpless in a way that means you end up doing everything.”

The pregnant woman was advised to reach out to her friends and family members regarding her husband’s behavior.

Prudence wrote, “when your child is born you are going to need a lot of support from people who have a little more to offer.”

Prudence also put the spotlight on the woman’s husband and claimed that it would be great if there comes a time when he changes or turns out to be a supportive parent, but that the woman shouldn’t hold on to that thought. 

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Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer based in India. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.

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