Man Asks If He's Wrong For Missing Daughter's Birth Because His Dad Wouldn't Give Him Time Off Work

His wife won't talk to him now.

Couple with their baby Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock

A man who wound up missing his daughter's birth because of work commitments was somewhat bewildered when his wife had a less than positive reaction.

In the aftermath, the man decided he needed some unbiased opinions on the matter so went to Reddit’s infamous “r/AmItheA--hole” thread to ask people what they thought.

The man’s dad didn’t give him time off because they were understaffed.

In his post, the man explained that he has worked at his dad’s restaurant since he was 15 years old and is the head chef now.


His dad doesn't treat his employees all that great, including him.

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One evening, the man got a phone call from his mother-in-law that his wife was in labor and asked him to come to the hospital.


The man wrote, “When I asked my dad if I could go he said ‘You can go if [you’re] ok with being unemployed.’”

Not letting the man go to his daughter’s birth was quite cruel on his dad’s part but he revealed that he had a reason for doing so.

“The reason my dad was so mad at the idea of me leaving was because he was understaffed and really needed my help,” the man added.

He thought that he couldn’t risk losing this job as his wife would also be unemployed for a while since she was giving birth. 

He continued to work and thought he would explain himself later for missing his daughter’s birth.

“Later when it was time to go home I drove to the hospital but MIL [mother-in-law] and her sisters refused to let me in the room and called me names like ‘a bad father and a bad husband,'” the man explained.


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After a while, when it was time to go home, the man's wife and baby left with his mother-in-law without talking to him.

The man has apologized repeatedly but, his wife and mother-in-law have refused to talk to him.

Redditors have let the man know that he was definitely wrong for missing his daughter’s birth.

“You didn’t miss the birth of your daughter. You chose to do so. And you know there are other restaurants that you can work at,” one user wrote.

“If your dad is so busy and desperate for you to work, do you really think he [could] afford to fire you? Even if he did, in this market an experienced chef should have no problem finding work,” another person commented.


“You've made it clear to your wife that you won't be around for important events. What are you going to do when it's your child's birthday? School play? Graduation?” one person wrote. “If you are willing to miss the birth when your wife is vulnerable and in pain, what aren't you willing to miss?”

Some people claimed that the man’s dad was problematic and that the man should make some serious changes in his life for his family.

One person wrote, “I think the one way to potentially show your wife you are deeply sorry for the hurt you caused is to find alternative employment. The issue with your dad will not resolve itself if the birth of your child wasn’t a valid reason for you to leave work in his eyes.”


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Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer for YourTango. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.