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I Ended An Affair With A Married Man — Now, I'm Wondering If I Should Tell His Wife

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A woman on Reddit is looking for advice after ending the relationship she was having with a married man.

The 26-year-old woman posted the story to the subreddit "r/TrueOffMyChest," a forum that allows users to share anything they may be dying to tell someone, and for others to offer advice.

She ended the affair but now wonders if she should tell his wife.

The woman wrote that she knows the man, a 36-year-old father of two, through a college alumni association.

She says that she viewed him as a mentor and that they “connected well on a purely professional and wholesome level.”

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After a few years, he confessed that he found her “objectively attractive,” and began flirting with her.

She reciprocated the flirting but declined his invites to go to dinner together for about a year.  

She then agreed to dinner and that's when their affair began.

They both agreed that it was their best experience with another person.

She wrote that, while she knows it was wrong, the years of knowing each other prior only enhanced the experience.

They saw each other for a bit longer, but she eventually broke off contact.

“We continued the affair for about two months before I cut it off completely, because I knew how wrong it was,” she wrote. “At one point we both admitted we loved each other, and that’s when I knew we took it too far.”

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He recently reached out to her and offered to take her to dinner, but she didn’t respond.

She then reflected on what drove her to engage in such an affair and wondered if she should come clean to his wife.

“Now I’m wondering if the best thing to do is to tell his wife everything,” she wrote. “I do feel like a changed person. I realize a big reason why I engaged in the affair was because I had very low self-worth and value and completely disregarded the feelings of his wife.”

She concludes by stating that she’s in therapy and trying her best to do the right thing.

Most readers advised the woman to tell the man’s wife — they implored her to put herself into his wife’s shoes and think about how she’d feel in her situation.

“As someone who has been cheated on, I would definitely want to know sooner rather than later,” one commenter said. “Her health is on the line. It's likely he's done this before and will again with who knows how many other women. She deserves to know so she can make an informed decision.”

Other people, however, warned her about the consequences of telling his wife.

One commenter found herself in the same situation and took her anger out on the woman who tried to tell her.

“I would want to know but I will be honest and say that when I was cheated on and the ‘other woman told me’ I lashed out at her,” another commenter said. “Partly because I’d asked her about it earlier and she lied to me. But a bigger part of it was I was so upset. 

“Knew deep down my bf at the time was a narc and would NOT feel sorry at all about it," they wrote. "And just…took it out on someone who actually would feel anything they are supposed to. But chewing her out didn’t help at all.”

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Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics. Follow him on Twitter to keep up with his content.

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