Dad Who Says The 'Hardest Part' Of Co-Parenting Is 'Coming Home To Silence' Gets Supportive Response
The silence is deafening.
TikTok One dad quickly learned that the time he spends away from his daughter during a co-parenting situation isn’t easy. He went to TikTok to post exactly how he was feeling and why he felt like he needed to vent to his followers and the people watching.
Angel posted the video three days ago on March 11, 2023, and has reached over 3.2 million views and over 11 thousand comments from sympathetic fathers — and mothers — who feel the same pain he does.
Angel claims that the hardest part of co-parenting is ‘coming home to silence.’
The text overlaid in his video reads “POV: You co-parent and just dropped off your kid with her mom,” as the camera follows him around his small home, cleaning up the mess that his daughter had made just before he dropped her off.
I use the term “mess” lightly, however, because Angel’s caption gives off a feeling that to him, the mess is something that he actually takes for granted. Even though it is a mess, it’s something that comes with being a father to his wonderful daughter.
“I think the hardest part of [co-parenting] (for me) is dropping off my daughter with her mom and coming home to silence,” he writes in the caption of his TikTok. “Of course when she’s rowdy and loud, I wish for peace and quiet, as does every parent when they’re overwhelmed. But then I hate when I have it.”
Dealing with rowdy kids is hard, and I doubt anyone really likes doing it, but Angel is realizing that he may have been taking it for granted the entire time. Just because it feels bad at the moment, doesn’t mean that he won’t miss it once it’s gone.
He wrote as much in the comments, saying “Now I cherish every scream, every dirty hand print, and every spill.”
One parent who related to his situation wrote, “I’ve been doing it for 10 years now and it doesn't get any easier, but just know 2 happy homes [are] better than 1 toxic home! Proud of you.”
“Wow, I thought one day it would be, but [yeah] you’re definitely right and that’s why it doesn’t hurt as much. [Because] now she sees us both happy,” he wrote in response.
It’s unclear what his custody agreement with his daughter’s mom is, but it doesn’t seem like that’s what he’s complaining about. He just misses his little girl.
It’s normal for co-parenting parents to miss their children when it’s time for visitation.
Certified Stepparent Coach Kristen Skiles from StepMomming confirms that it’s hard to cope with not having your child around as much after dividing time with another parent, but she “cannot stress enough the importance of allowing children time to bond with both parents.”
“The key is to focus on other things, and there are 4 basic ways you can spend your time to help you cope until they get back.”
She believes the best way to cope with spending time away from your kid is to simply take your mind off of it in one of four ways: using your time away productively, spending more time with other people, doing things just for yourself, or make those moments with your child all the more special.
Angel could benefit from picking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, catching up with his friends, or treating himself to a nice, relaxing spa day — the world doesn’t have to stop being his oyster just because his daughter is at her mother’s house!
It may be hard, and only time will tell if it'll ever get easier, but the most important thing is that he's doing what's best for his daughter and making every moment with her count.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.