People With High Emotional & Financial Integrity Usually Never Say 11 Common Phrases
Mizuno K | Canva With a reported 42% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck, it's no surprise to learn how many people feel like their financial literacy is seriously lacking. The idea of saving for retirement or an emergency feels like a joke when covering housing, food and insurance is stressful enough.
But not everyone is lacking emotional and financial integrity these days. Some people make great choices with their money and there's plenty the rest of us can learn from some of the things you'll pretty much never hear someone who's smart with money say.
People with high emotional and financial integrity usually never say these 11 common phrases:
1. ‘I’ll figure it out later’
According to a study from the University of Michigan, many people who are coping with feelings of sadness and isolation rely on overspending to give them a sense of control over their lives. By spending on things they don’t need and investing in experiences that help boost their social interaction and feelings of belonging, they cope with not having control in other areas of their lives.
While in the present moment, they’re willing to push off responsibility and even feelings of guilt over their irresponsible spending with phrases like this, relying on the sentiment of “that’s a later me problem” only pushes people further into debt and financial instability.
2. ‘I couldn’t help it…’
Considering overspending is often linked with impulsivity, giving people a sense of control and sparking temporarily increased dopamine levels, it’s not surprising that this is one of the phrases financially irresponsible people use often, according to psychology.
A 2021 study on overspending during lockdowns showed that many people engage in impulsive shopping and spending to cope with emotional turmoil and a yearning for control. In many cases, financially irresponsible people truly get caught up in the heat of the moment, looking for belonging and control in ways that often set them back further from their financial goals and stability.
Rather than planning or saving for the lifestyle they’re yearning for (which, in many cases, financially irresponsible people don’t have the literacy education to craft) they instead overspend and live above their means, finding ways to self-soothe and comfort anxiety, depressive symptoms, and loneliness.
3. ‘I’m just bad with money’
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Phrases like this one, which simultaneously excuse poor money behaviors and lack accountability, can be frustrating and emotionally exhausting to hear, especially for the friends and family of overspenders and financially irresponsible people.
However, this sentiment is often a result of internalized financial shame, which research suggests can develop in people as young as 5 years old.
Whether it was their parents' financial struggles or misguided attitudes around money, financially irresponsible people struggle to learn from their mistakes and break free of their all-consuming mindset about money they learned as children. Unfortuantely, this often forces them into a toxic cycle of spending and shame that can manifest in phrases such as this one.
4. ‘It honestly pays for itself’
Considering feelings of shame often induce “financial withdrawal”, it’s not surprising that many financially irresponsible people with this mindset rely on counterproductive financial decisions that place them in an even more insecure and unstable position.
While this toxic cycle of shame, guilt, and overcompensatory financial decisions can be challenging to break free from, a person’s reliance on excuses and lack of accountability with phrases like this doesn't provide any help doesn’t provide any assistance in doing so.
Even if something technically pays for itself over time or solves a problem you’ve been spending money on, it’s not always the right decision (especially if you’re already grappling with debt and insecurity in other areas of your life).
5. ‘I’m just treating myself’
Whether you're financially responsible or not, It feels good to spend money on yourself or invest in something to celebrate an accomplishment. However, relying on spending to “treat” yourself and boost positive internal feelings is irresponsible and can have negative consequences on your emotional health.
For people already coping with the cycle of overspending and shame, spending money to self-soothe or engage in self-care won’t truly bring them peace. The key to treating yourself relies on healthy habits like saving money, spending time with friends, moving your body, or making your favorite meal.
Not everything has to be a financial investment. By discovering ways to “treat" yourself and practice self-care without spending money, you not only learn to self-soothe in a healthy manner but also shield yourself from the inevitable feelings of shame and guilt tied to overspending for comfort.
6. ‘I’ll pay it off next month’
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According to psychology, many people comfortable avoiding financial accountability find it easy to put off money stress and management until later. This is why this is one of the phrases that financially irresponsible people often use.
Living within your means can help to build financial stability, allowing people to pay off their debt and get back on track financially. However, for someone constantly shuffling accountability down the road for their irresponsible financial decisions, it’s impossible to plan and prepare for the future.
While it might be easy for someone dealing with uncomfortable feelings of shame and embarrassment to avoid addressing the root cause of their instability by pushing off responsibility to their future self, at some point they’ll have to come to terms with them in a way that’s often much harder as they continue to be avoided.
7. ‘Money always comes back’
While a mindset like “money comes and it goes” isn’t necessarily right or wrong, depending on how conscious someone is of their spending habits, overrelying on a phrase like this can help to justify overspending and a lack of planning. For young people like Gen Z, who simultaneously missed out on learning financial literacy in school and value experiences over long-term investments, it’s unsurprising that many irresponsible spenders rely on phrases like this to feel more comfortable spending money.
Yes, investing and being present in your daily life is essential. Saying “yes” to experiences that help you grow, connect, and gain perspective while you have a certain level of freedom. However, prioritizing these experiences over things like paying off debt, building a savings account to fall back on, or adequately budgeting only puts financially irresponsible people in a worse money position in the future.
Considering people in debt, struggling with money stress, are also more likely to develop depressive symptoms, according to clinician Jenna Nielsen, they’re often using spending as a way to cope with their isolation or feelings of loneliness now, splurging on experiences and social connections that set them back financially in the long run.
8. ‘I’ll just make the minimum payment’
Simply paying the minimum payment on credit cards, especially for people who have the freedom to pay off more, can make debt grow faster with compounding interest rates. While it’s often easy, especially for people who constantly overspend, to make the minimum payment, close their mobile banking app, and shop to cope with their guilt, this behavior only sets them up for stress and anxiety later on.
Like many other phrases that financially irresponsible people often use, according to psychology, they revolve around shifting blame and avoiding responsibility. Even if that means painting a misguided picture of their financial well-being to others or living beyond their means, it’s more comfortable for them to be subtly deceitful than to acknowledge where they’re falling short.
9. ‘I have no idea where all my money goes’
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Many financially irresponsible people lack the knowledge or financial literacy to acknowledge their toxic mindsets and spending habits. If they do, they’d prefer to ignore them. Thus, they often rely on phrases like this to avoid taking responsibility for their bad decisions.
How we handle and manage our money has innate emotional ties, considering that spending money and purchasing things often evokes an emotional response. It’s important to consider the mindset from which financially irresponsible people operate.
Rather than seeking a sense of calm and peace from planning (like managing their money and setting financial goals to work toward), they seek instant gratification to cope with their present discomfort. By finding other avenues and coping mechanisms in their life, they make space to find excitement in more financially responsible decisions and avoid the constant pull of overspending and a toxic money mindset.
10. ‘I’m going to get a raise soon, it’s okay’
Even toward the people hoping to support a financially struggling or irresponsible person, they tend to use phrases like this one to avoid accountability. Rather than make financial decisions that serve their best interests and financial situation now, they live beyond their means, looking forward to a future lifestyle they’ve not yet achieved.
Similarly to how people who boast about their goals before achieving them sabotage their feelings of accomplishment, relief, and happiness down the road. AS psychologist Marwa Azab argues, financially irresponsible people who pretend they’re living a lifestyle beyond their means only set themselves up for failure later on. catching up and paying off their debt if and when they do get raises or more income.
11. ‘I deserve it’
While it can be uncomfortable to use these phrases, financially irresponsible people often do so, according to psychology. Spending has nothing to do with what you deserve unless you genuinely have the financial comfort and stability to buy what you need and want.
It’s possible that you deserve a new car, that extra drink at a restaurant, or a vacation, but that doesn’t mean it’s responsible for you to buy it. That’s simply the mindset shift we’re forced to learn to be better at managing our money. However, financially irresponsible people over-rely on this mindset, trying to self-soothe with unhealthy habits like overspending rather than viewing saving money as an essential act of self-care.
Your ability to deserve something, doesn’t just appear when you’ve had a rough day or are going through a difficult time. You’re always deserving, it’s just about making decisions with your money that set you up for long-term success and stability, rather than a moment of instant gratification or fleeting comfort.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
