11 Expenses People Only Tolerate Because Everyone Else Pretends They're Normal
We all pretend these ridiculous costs are just part of life, but deep down, we know better.
Nina Buday | Shutterstock Some expenses are so ingrained in our culture that we stop questioning them, even when they make no financial sense. Extravagant weddings and housing costs are huge costs that we can all agree we tolerate because we believe them to be a regular part of society. Janna G. Noelle notes that in medieval Europe, the feudal system involved tenants (called Villeins) who paid rent to lords in exchange for the right to use land. In those days, villeins received protection from their lords in exchange for payment, either through legal rights or by warding off outside threats, such as invaders. However, this protection came at the cost of personal freedom — they couldn't leave the land without permission, so while they were protected, they were also heavily controlled.
From medieval feudalism to modern capitalism, we've always traded freedom for access, protection, and social approval. The difference now? Many of today's so-called necessities come with a high price tag and little reward. The reason it has become so common now is that society sees these expenses as life milestones rather than views them as a waste of resources and time. As we face uncertain times, many question whether paying for these expenses is even worth it, especially as our protections are being rolled back.
Here are 11 expenses people only tolerate because everyone else pretends they're normal:
1. Weddings and extravagant honeymoons
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Weddings can be expensive, depending on the location and the number of attendees. What's even more surprising is how willingly guests go along with the expenses as well. Between traveling and hotel stays, just attending someone else's wedding can be a major financial burden. However, due to its joyful milestone and celebration of love, no one ever complains that it is unnecessary. It's much easier for couples to go down to the courthouse and won't break their budget if they do.
According to Pollfish, around 33% of recently married Americans report taking on debt to fund their wedding, with an average of roughly $11,737 borrowed, including from credit cards and loans. Many of the expenses tied to weddings are completely optional, but social pressure makes them feel mandatory. We've normalized the idea that love must come with a high price tag, and challenging that idea can feel like heresy.
2. Overpriced rent in big cities
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High rent prices are one of the clearest examples of a normalized expense that borders on absurd. Among single renters, New York City is by far the least affordable place to rent based on pricing. A single studio can cost 71.13% of a renter's income or $3,308 a month. The high price of living in a major city is sometimes shrugged off as the price to access. Access to opportunities, culture, and convenience.
Complaining about rent becomes part of the local culture, but change feels impossible. The tide may be turning, but for now, overpriced rent remains one of the most widely accepted financial expenses people carry simply because everyone else is doing it. One day, we will get on the same page about this topic and realize that paying thousands of dollars for a cramped apartment in the city is a bit absurd.
3. Monthly subscriptions
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Monthly subscriptions have quietly become one of the most normalized forms of modern spending. Streaming services and fitness apps often feature recurring charges that seem manageable until they accumulate. A Bango report found that Americans typically hold 4.5 subscriptions, totaling about $924 a year.
The truth is that many subscriptions go unused or are forgotten altogether. The normalization of subscriptions is part of a broader shift in how we consume. Ownership is increasingly being replaced by access to music, movies, and e-books, with many people missing the days when we owned all our media rather than relying on digital platforms.
4. Designer everything
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Designer goods are often used as symbols to convey status to others, rather than serving a practical purpose. Many people buy them not because they need them but because of the social cachet that comes with owning one. These items are heavily marketed as aspirational, and owning them can make people feel as if they are part of an elite circle.
Social pressures play a massive role in these types of purchases. No one wants to be the odd one out in a room full of people flaunting luxury logos. This collective performance, where everyone pretends these expenses are normal. If people were more honest about the debt and superficial motivations behind these purchases, designer goods might lose some of their prestige.
5. College textbooks
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College textbooks are one of the most frustrating and strangely normalized costs students face. It is not uncommon for a single book to cost over $100, even in digital form. Despite the digital age offering numerous alternatives, publishers maintain high prices through the constant release of new editions and bundled access codes, rendering used copies nearly useless.
What's especially maddening is how avoidable this expense could be. Many professors would be happy to provide open-source materials or older versions of textbooks if academic publishing weren't so entrenched in bureaucracy and profit. Instead, students are forced to pay exorbitant prices to access the homework platform required for class participation, which should be either freely available or integrated into tuition.
6. Cable TV packages
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Cable packages have long been a staple in most households, but more out of habit than necessity. Many people continue to pay for hundreds of channels they don't watch, bundled together in overpriced packages designed to squeeze every last dollar from customers. As of early 2025, Cord Cutter News found that the average cost of a standalone cable TV package in the U.S. is approximately $147 per month. This includes additional fees such as broadcast surcharges, equipment rentals, and regional sports fees.
What keeps people tethered to cable is the illusion of normalcy. It's what their parents paid for, what their neighbors still have, and what's always been there. This social inertia makes it seem like cutting the cord is a radical move, when in fact it's often the more sensible financial decision.
7. Extended warranties
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Extended warranties seem like a sensible safeguard, just a few extra dollars for peace of mind, but more often than not, they're exploiting the fear that your new purchase will break or malfunction at any moment. In reality, most of these malfunctions occur early and are typically covered by the manufacturer within the first 30 days.
The appeal of extended warranties also thrives on social pressure. Salespeople push them hard, and there's a subtle implication that not buying one means you're being reckless. This has normalized the idea that protection beyond the manufacturer's guarantee is essential, even when, statistically, it's rarely a good idea.
8. Baby showers and gender reveals
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Baby showers and gender reveals have become almost obligatory rites of passage for expecting parents, yet many people secretly dread them. What started as intimate gatherings to celebrate new life have evolved into elaborate productions with curated themes and social media performances. The pressure to participate can make these events feel more like financial and social obligations than joyful celebrations.
Gender reveals, in particular, have sparked growing criticism for being unnecessary, performative, and sometimes even dangerous. Exploding colored smoke bombs have created disastrous results in public spaces. A YouGov survey found that 35% of Americans consider gender reveal parties "unnecessary," while 27% view them as "self-indulgent" and 28% as "silly." This discomfort is pushed aside for the sake of tradition, family expectations, or social appearance.
9. Annual smartphone and tech upgrades
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Upgrading to the latest smartphone every year has become a normalized event, driven more by social momentum than genuine need. Manufacturers release new models with incremental changes, yet many consumers feel compelled to trade in perfectly functional devices. It's a cycle that's often more about maintaining status and staying current than about actual utility.
Peer pressure is a powerful tool. When everyone around you has the latest new phone, it can make you feel like you're missing out. Marketers capitalize on this, framing each new release as essential and time-sensitive. It's a financial habit many wouldn't maintain if not for the phone enthusiasts telling them it's what everyone does.
10. Tipping culture
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Tipping has evolved far beyond its original purpose of rewarding exceptional service. In many countries, such as the U.S., it's no longer optional but expected. What was once a generous gesture has turned into a social obligation in every transaction. What makes tipping particularly frustrating is the inconsistency.
While some workers depend on tips due to low base wages, others receive full hourly pay, yet still present the tip screen. According to a Bankrate survey, around 63% of U.S. adults hold at least one negative view about tipping, citing concerns such as businesses relying too heavily on tips instead of paying fair wages. The proliferation of pre-entered tip screens and the perception that tipping culture has become excessive were also problems.
11. Health insurance premiums
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For individuals purchasing private health insurance plans through the marketplace, the average annual premium reached a record high of $7,008 in 2024. This marks a 4% increase from the previous year, driven by rising costs from healthcare providers and insurers. This causes many to cling to their employer-provided insurance out of fear, and others remain underinsured because the premiums are simply unaffordable.
Deductibles and copays can still leave people financially exposed, even after paying steep premiums. Nearly everyone is stuck in the same boat, and this imbalance has become widely accepted rather than challenged. Yet the societal narrative remains the same for all these expenses: that this is just how things are, and that's not going to change unless we take action.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
