Women Who Are Chronically Unhappy Often Repeat 3 Deeply Negative Phrases
Maria Evseyeva | Shutterstock We all lie to ourselves about many things in life. We pretend certain issues don’t bother us, or we claim that the diet starts on Monday. It’s human, even when we know the lies we most want to believe may be keeping us from what we want most.
For deeply unhappy women, three particularly common phrases crush their self-esteem and sabotage their chances of finding what they crave and deserve.
Women who are chronically unhappy often repeat these deeply negative phrases:
1. 'I won't let anyone in until I'm totally healed'
The first lie women believe is that they must love themselves before they can have healthy relationships with men. As a result, they refuse to get into a relationship before they’re filled to the brim with self-confidence. This hurts women on two fronts: to begin, projecting anything too far into the future is problematic; any time you delay X until Y happens, you set yourself up for remorse.
The other problem is that this way of thinking keeps women from seeing the relationship as a vehicle for loving themselves on a higher level. A good relationship can be that vehicle; it can drive women to thrive. Your partner can teach you how to love yourself more fully. In a healthy, functioning relationship, this happens naturally.
2. 'It's weak to depend on a man'
Nenad Cavoski | Shutterstock
Most women tell themselves that it's weak to depend on men for a good reason; they’ve been let down in the past. And I'm not talking about depending on a man to write your paycheck or feed you. We're talking about a deeper level of being able to let your guard down and allow love in. In a loving, committed relationship, dependency isn’t bad as long as it’s a two-way street (i.e., the man depends on you too!).
Genuine, authentic dependence lets you be open to someone having your back, and that's a path to a happily ever after in a healthy relationship. Depending on your partner inspires them to be strong. It also communicates that you trust them. Believe it or not, it takes more strength to open yourself up and depend on someone than to stay guarded on your island.
3. 'If I'm good enough, he'll change for me'
This lie is the hardest to break free from and the most common. Many women believe that if they change themselves, the man will follow suit. They take too much responsibility for their partner’s character or pursue emotionally unavailable men.
This forces women to settle into a relationship that’s barely breathing. Remember, the best relationships aren’t about changing people; they’re about loving them for who they are already.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience optimizing human behavior and relational dynamics.
