5 Wild Relationship Tips I Learned When I Almost Became A Nun
Who knew near-nun life could teach you how to actually crush it in love?
Engin Akyurt | Unsplash Relationships aren’t always easy. After all, everyone has their quirks, traumas, fantasies, desires, and icks.
After growing up abstinent and studying to become a nun, I learned about romantic relationships the hard way, diving headfirst into a world that I knew absolutely nothing about. I felt like I was in a race everyone else had gotten a huge head start on. I found myself doubting my self-worth.
So, I did what any nerd would do, and I studied everything I could about relationships, intimacy, and human desire. This thirst for knowledge not only led me down the path of creating my own cannabis intimate wellness company but also allowed me to find my confidence within relationships, both intimate and otherwise. So, in the spirit of never gatekeeping, here are my top tips for any romantic relationship.
Here are 5 wild relationship tips I learned when I almost became a nun:
1. Learn to embrace changes when life throws you curveballs
Life has a funny way of turning out unexpectedly. I mean, here I am creating THC-infused wellness products instead of wearing a Habit. I know it sounds like the setup for a bad joke.
But hey, life's unexpected twists and turns are what make it interesting. When it comes to relationships, learning to roll with the figurative punches as a team is crucial (keyword here being team). Whether it's navigating through rough patches or embracing unexpected opportunities, being flexible and adaptable is key to weathering the storms together.
2. Actually say what's on your mind
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Ah, communication — the age-old secret sauce of successful relationships. I can't stress this one enough. From sharing your deepest desires to hashing out disagreements, open and honest communication lays the foundation for trust and intimacy.
So, don't be afraid to speak your mind and listen with an open heart. Several studies have found that deep, meaningful conversations contribute more to relationship quality than superficial interactions, building a foundation of closeness and perceived partner responsiveness.
Remember, communication isn't just about talking; it's about truly understanding and connecting with your partner on a deeper level. Talk about your deepest desires, your insecurities, things you want to try, and what you like and don’t like, physically or otherwise. Likely, your partner isn’t a mind reader, and even if they are, we all need a little extra help understanding sometimes. You may be surprised at how much closer it brings you.
3. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too
Self-care isn't selfish — it's essential. As someone who's danced on the brink of burnout more times than I can count, I've learned the hard way that taking care of yourself is non-negotiable.
Set aside time to pamper yourself, indulge in your favorite hobbies, and recharge your batteries, both on your own and with your partner. When you prioritize your well-being, you show up as the best version of yourself in your relationship.
4. Find things you're both interested in
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While opposites may attract, shared values are the glue that holds relationships together. Take some time to explore what matters most to you and your partner. A 2023 study explained that the effort to find common ground requires empathy, helping partners to better understand each other's perspectives, feelings, and motivations.
Whether it's a shared love for adventure, a mutual celebrity crush, or a joint obsession with cheesy romcoms, finding common ground strengthens your bond and fosters a sense of unity. Plus, it gives you something fun to geek out over together.
5. Turn your relationship into an adventure
Life is an adventure, so why not embark on it together? Whether it's trying out new activities, exploring new places, or tackling challenges as a team, shared experiences create lasting memories and deepen your connection. So, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and embrace the unknown.
Relationships are like a rollercoaster ride — full of twists, turns, and unexpected thrills. By embracing life's uncertainties, communicating openly, prioritizing self-care, finding common ground, and embarking on adventures together, you will have the tools you need to build a strong and resilient bond.
But always remember, it takes two to tango. While it will never always be 50/50, relationships are about each partner putting in the work. Be sure to find someone who makes you feel like you’re worth that and more. After all, you are. And, if all else fails, there’s always the convent.
Katie Enright is a freelance writer and owner of ohlavinia, who has been featured in Forbes, Insider, The Daily Mail, and The Daily Star.
