Why Her Happiness Is The Secret To A Better Marriage For Both Of You, According To Research
Happy wife, happy life (and, in turn, a happy husband).
Filip Rankovic | Unsplash I believe it was a very wise woman by the name of Beyoncé who once said, "Who run the world? Girls!" And, by all accounts, she was right. Not only do we, to use her words, "run this motha," but apparently women are also in charge of running our relationships.
As it turns out, the old saying "happy wife, happy life" is true — and scientifically confirmed. A 2014 study by researchers at Rutgers University has found that marital bliss is strongly associated with whether or not the wife in the relationship is happy.
Why her happiness is the secret to a better marriage for both of you, according to research
If she's miserable, then her husband is miserable, and pretty much the whole relationship is just the pits. In contrast, if the husband is miserable, the relationship suffers way less.
The research of 394 couples found that not only does the woman’s satisfaction play a big role in the happiness or misery of a marriage, but, in general, men tended to be happier in their relationships than women. But when it came to overall life satisfaction, how the wives felt about the marriage directly contributed to whether their husband was happy or not.
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The reason "happy wife, happy life" is true is that a happy wife is more willing to aim to please. As study author Deborah Carr explained, "If a wife is happy in her marriage, she will try hard to create a positive experience for her husband. So perhaps she listens to him more, she offers him more emotional support, or maybe she offers him more help with daily activities."
You know, that whole partnership thing that makes for a happy relationship. For some men, figuring out how to make their wives happy can be tricky and feel like a lot of pressure.
When a woman is unhappy, she's far more likely to talk about it, even be "confrontational" about it, notes Carr. However, a man will "sit and seethe silently," allowing the animosity to stew while his wife, in some cases, may not even be the wiser that there’s an issue at all.
This was especially true for older couples from generations where talking about your feelings was pretty much unheard of. What it comes down to is communication.
Only in communicating feelings, as much as it might pain one to do so, can a marriage be truly successful. It's sad to think that one person's perception of a marriage can have such a major effect on it, but since that is the case, married couples owe it to themselves to put all their cards on the table and not shy away from openness.
Of course, there are no guarantees in life, and sometimes a doomed marriage is simply doomed, but if you let communication be part of the equation, then you can hopefully hang in there for the long run. Let divorce be for the other guy.
Amanda Chatel has been a wellness and relationship journalist for over a decade. Her work has been featured in Glamour, Shape, Self, and other outlets.
