What Happened When A Woman Included 'Feminist' In Her Dating Profile

You can be a feminist and still deserve respect on dating apps.

woman in white shirt that says 'female power' Luna Vandoorne / Shutterstock

If you think women should have the same rights as men, you're a feminist. End of story.

I don't understand why the word feminist angers people so much. Why is believing that women are intellectual and social equals to men and should be treated as such a bad thing? What's so terrible about wanting men and women to have the same rights and opportunities?

What I understand even less is how, in 2015, when Laura Nowak included the word feminist on her Tinder account, it inspired a wide range of nasty responses — everything from overt misogyny to highly inappropriate sexual come-ons. In other words, by saying that she was a feminist, male Tinder users felt that they had the right to be the biggest a-holes and haters on the planet. 


Nowak shared her Tinder responses on her Instagram, Twitter, and even her Tumblr accounts. Now everyone can see how that one word, feminism, can set off the haters.

I knew internet trolls were bad but they've got nothing on these Tinder jerks.

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Here's what happened when a woman included 'feminist' in her dating profile:

1. What's the point of the sentence

Either this dude is completely clueless or has a horrible sense of humor. Either way, he needs to work on his opening line.

2. Telling someone to smile isn't flirting, it's rude


This guy is controlling and manipulative, and his pretense of being a nice guy is failing.

3. This is a poor attempt to make contact by giving some unwanted and unasked-for advice

This guy's hostility amps up quickly.

4. Confusion over a feminist using Tinder


Apparently, casual sex and respect for women can't co-exist.

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5. Bang it out

You have to wonder what the success rate is for these guys. 

6. This guy finds feminists annoying


Everybody is entitled to their opinions, but this isn't the way to go about having a dialogue about it. 

7. More men feel compelled to offer stupid suggestions

How is saying that you're a feminist mean you hate all men? Truly scratching my head here.

8. Hey dude, you're on Tinder, too


If you have half a brain, you know that making sexist comments isn't going to get you anywhere.

9. Saying "hi" isn't the most creative opening

It's amazing how quickly these conversations get antagonistic.

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10. Yep, misogyny is alive and well


Don't you ever get bored with being a misogynistic jerk?

11. Here's a guy who says he loves the females

He doesn't love women; he loves objectifying them.

12. In no way does being a feminist make you a victim

Seriously, no guy will ever want to go out with a woman who debates and challenges him? Is this the 1950s?


13. This guy promises to treat her like she's supposed to be treated

Hello, the last thing women want is to be treated like a toy. 

14. No, he's definitely not a feminist


It's never a good idea to mock gender identity and expression. Never.

15. Want to hook up

If you're going to insult someone, at least use the word correctly. 

Feminist shouldn't be such a scary word. It's not insulting to be called one or to call yourself one. It's also not an open invitation for stupidity.


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Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She's had articles featured in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman's Day, among many others.