8 Unromantic Signs That Prove Someone's Already Deeply In Love
It might not look like a fairy tale, but this is the real happily ever after.
Leeloo The First | Pexels No matter what happens in a relationship, you learn a lot about yourself, the other person, and ideally, the rest of the important people in your life. Possibly the coolest parts of a relationship, however, show you are deeply in love in decidedly unromantic ways.
Being deeply in love has nothing to do with googly eyes, sweet nothings, or other romantic nonsense. A 2015 cross-cultural comparison of relationship satisfaction found that the value you place on your partner is the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction. The value you perceive has the strongest effect on how satisfied you are.
Here are 8 unromantic signs someone is deeply in love:
1. They call each other in
We all bring baggage to our relationships; it has various volumes and weights and densities and we learn how to sort it out, where to set boundaries and how to enable healthy growth instead of sticking with past stagnation.
Partners who truly love each other set boundaries to ensure their growth, as well as helping boost each other when past troubles arise. They don’t hold the past against their partner, and they don’t allow their partner’s past to mess with their present. This is essential to true intimacy in a relationship.
2. They aren’t threatened by their partner's success
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Being upset about your partner doing well is a huge red flag for your own thriving insecurity and a sign that you probably have some serious self-work to do. Celebrating each other’s successes and victories certainly isn’t always the most romantic thing you can do, but it shows your partner that you are there for them and that their happiness is important to you.
3. They genuinely enjoy taking care of each other
This varies in particular from person to person and relationship to relationship, but doing the cooking or the cleaning up or the laundry or yard work or whatever, especially if it’s something they don’t enjoy doing or have a hard time getting done, shows you’re paying attention and care about their needs and wishes.
4. They naturally share space
While this doesn’t necessarily mean living together, if you’ve been involved with someone for a while, you should probably feel comfortable around their stuff, and vice versa. If your partner is weirded out about you keeping a change of clothes or a toothbrush at their place and you’ve been together a while, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.
5. They feel love even when there’s nothing to love
Every relationship goes through the honeymoon period, and then the real work starts. You know it’s meant to be if you genuinely enjoy each other, even when it’s not exciting, or you can make mundane things entertaining.
Grocery shopping is a lot more fun when you’re sharing private jokes and being silly about dish detergent. When the boring stuff truly gets boring, you might want to check and see if you’re maybe falling out of love.
6. They argue constructively
There’s a difference between a fight and an argument, and couples who are in it for the long haul learn how to argue in ways that allow them to listen to and understand each other. A loving couple can do this without undermining each other, hurling insults, or tearing apart the relationship entirely.
"If all you've done is fight and found a way to smooth things over without truly feeling a deeper sense of understanding about yourself, your relationship, and your [partner], you've wasted a perfect opportunity for growth," advised relationship coach Linda Salazar. "When you learn how to argue fruitfully, you can gain emotional and spiritual insight into what took place, the less likely you are to repeat the fight."
7. They're there for the bad times
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It’s easy to be with your partner during happy occasions or events, more difficult to do so when the going gets rough. Whether it’s a major medical procedure, attending a funeral, or even just going to a company party you don’t want to attend, being there for your partner is a huge sign that you’re meant to be.
8. They pass gas in front of each other
Use the bathroom together and aren’t embarrassed by the real you, showing who you are uninhibitedly to your partner. It sounds silly, but consider it for a second: if you can’t perform a simple, entirely necessary, and largely uncontrolled bodily function in front of your significant other, they probably aren’t so significant after all.
Being in love is fantastic, but the real joy of being in a relationship happens when the fluttery feelings dissipate and you find you still really, really enjoy this person.
Dondi is a freelance writer living in Colorado. She's been featured in Medium, BBN, I Heart Intelligence, and more.
