Unless You’re Willing To Do These 3 Things For The Rest Of Your Life, Human Behavior Expert Says You Probably Shouldn’t Get Married
Before considering marriage, human behavior expert Jayson Gaddis insisted that people should think deeply about these specific things.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Marriage shouldn't just be a one-off decision that you're making just because you think you need to be doing it. It's a lifelong commitment, and it should be treated as such. If you're not ready to embark on that journey, then the obvious answer is to be honest with your significant other, but also with yourself. However, you might not necessarily know what it looks like to be fully ready for marriage either.
In a post to X, a human behavior and relationship expert named Jayson Gaddis admitted that he's often telling people that they shouldn't get married, considering how much hard work it takes. But Gaddis insisted that it can be one of the most fulfilling things that a person does with their life, only if they're ready to handle certain things.
Unless you're willing to do these 3 things for the rest of your life, you probably shouldn't get married:
1. Learn
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"Learn about you, learn about them. Never stop learning about yourself and each other in the context of your relationship," Gaddis explained. The moment that you think you've finally got it all figured out is usually the moment when things quickly begin to unravel. People change, and so do circumstances.
Life is not just one smooth ride, and if you're not willing to grow alongside your spouse, you'll quickly realize just how much the two of you will end up drifting apart instead. Learning means being able to handle the mistakes and the moments of miscommunication. It's about being able to admit when you're wrong and putting aside your ego to ensure that you're working through the problems instead of creating more.
"What separates thriving marriages from struggling ones isn’t the absence of difficulty, but the willingness to face hard truths and work through them together. Some realities about marriage are uncomfortable to accept, yet embracing them can be the key to deeper connection, resilience, and lasting happiness," explained psychologist Mark Travers.
2. Embrace conflict
Gaddis insisted that not only are conflict, adversity, and challenges inevitable in marriage, but so is working through them. If you want a marriage that actually lasts, it means having to embrace that conflict rather than running from it.
Avoiding these difficult moments doesn't make them disappear either. Usually, brushing things under the rug means they'll eventually come right back out in a much bigger, more explosive way.
Conflict also isn't the enemy in your marriage. Instead, it's usually an opportunity to learn more about the person you're with and also learn more about yourself. All of that is easier said than done, of course. There's nothing fun about being in conflict with someone you love. But if you're able to stay strong through the discomfort of it all, you'll be happy when you eventually come out on the other side stronger than ever.
3. Share leadership and collaborate
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"Being teammates about everything and sharing the load together is crucial. Be honest about how hard it is to share leadership and get better at it," Gaddis said. Too many people go into a marriage wanting to be the one leading the charge. But the truth is, a healthy marriage means being partners through it all. It's working side-by-side, not just allowing one person to call the shots while the other just sits back.
When both people in a marriage feel as if they're being heard, it means there's an equal amount of respect. On the other hand, if you're in a marriage where you and your spouse are constantly at odds with each other's opinions, then it's not equal at all. Resentment usually ends up being born from two people not being able to get on the same page. Couples who just know how to collaborate end up having a healthy and compassionate marriage, which is always the end goal.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
