6 Uniquely Rare Signs You've Picked A Great Partner

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Laughing young couple in cafe

You can compare your company with a bra — a good one lifts you and an ill-fitted or bad one lets you down. When clothes don't fit right, a couch doesn't feel comfortable when you sit on it, or a job doesn't right, you do everything you can to change that situation. You buy different clothes, you trade in the couch, and you look for another job. It is that simple.

You pay attention to detail on how something should look and feel and you are proud of your accomplishments. You share your victory with your friends...and they bash your ideas, crush your hopes and dreams, and make you feel so insecure that you start second-guessing yourself. But wait, stop. Who is giving your friends or family so much power that you start to dismantle your upbeat mood? 

That is how neuron science works. You mirror back what emotion is presented to you. This counts for all ranges of emotions from happiness to anger. Take for example the show Say Yes to the Dress, how often did a bride depend on the entourage for approval of a dress? If they don't like it, she won't buy it. Or the opinion of your friends on a brand of car, the place you live, or the partner you have. We all have opinions and like to share them with the people around us. It is something we all do and we can't escape it, but you can become aware of it and work with it.

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Here are 6 uniquely rare signs you've picked a great partner:

1. They don't gossip

Gossiping is trash-talking about somebody who is not in the room. When someone is gossiping to you about someone else, you can count on it that this person gossips about you as well when you are not there. By engaging in gossip, you reduce your accountability as a trustful friend. People will share less and less with you out of fear that their inner trouble becomes water cooler talk. Therefore, be careful what you share what a friend told you in confidence.



2. They don't complain

When you complain about everything, from the weather to your diet to your money situation and your family problems, you turn people away. People can handle only so much complaining unless you have friends who complain along with them. But then you end up in a downward spiral and will view life in general as negative, it is then difficult to find joy in anything including your friends. It is better to tell your friends that you only have to vent for a moment, that way you have your two-minute rant without expecting agreement or pity.

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3. They know that misery loves company so they avoid getting sucked into drama

Choose the friends who lift you when you are down or the ones who push you out of your comfort zone and help you grow. Those are the friends you can count on when life goes south and you need a shoulder to lean on. And they are there to champion you when you want to achieve a long-time dream.  



4. They accept when your answer is "no"

You may have the feeling that when a friend asks you to become engaged in a project or go somewhere with them, you always need to say "yes." Think about the times you felt you had to choose between a partner, friends, family, work, and your "me" time, how often did you choose the "me" time? How did you feel about letting others down? Having personal boundaries is healthy and okay, and your friends know where you stand and they will respect your decision. In the long run, you have more energy to do the things you love to do, including going out with the people you love.

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5. They are someone you can laugh with

When you make a mistake or a blooper, you want to disappear and you may feel shame. A great friend can show you a different perspective and laugh at what you have done or said (when you didn't intentionally hurt someone). It is freeing when you don't have to take life so seriously and a friend can help you do that.

6. They are ready to let go of people who hold them down

People are in our lives for a short or long time, and they all bring something to our lives. Have you noticed that when you are with certain people, you feel drained, frustrated, or let down all the time? You may ask yourself if those people really bring something wonderful into your life or if are they only just there and convenient. It is then really important to ask yourself: "Do I want this person in my life or is it better to let them go?"

Letting go may seem very harsh, but you have to live with yourself, and you can't walk away from yourself. Therefore, cutting people out who always talk negatively and are of no support, is a self-preservation on your end. At one time or another in life, we all need a listening ear and support, and if the people around you can't deliver that, then it is time to cut them out. You become the company you keep; your joy and happiness depend on it.

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Ellen Nyland is a certified life coach and the author of Life is Great Even When it Sucks. Her work focuses on helping people grow and get out of their comfort zones.