When A Woman Feels Emotionally Unsafe In A Relationship, She’ll Usually Start Doing 9 Things To Protect Herself
stockfour / Shutterstock It’s just as important for a woman to feel emotionally safe in a relationship as it is for her to feel physically safe. Without emotional safety, she won’t feel able to open up and trust her partner.
If a woman doesn’t believe a man is providing her with the sense of safety that she truly needs, she’ll start changing her behavior in subtle, self- protective ways.
If a woman feels emotionally unsafe in her relationships, she'll often start doing these little things to protect herself
1. She becomes selective about what she shares
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The best kind of relationships are the ones where one person can tell the other about whatever crazy ideas they have without fear of judgment. There’s no way a woman can do that when she feels emotionally unsafe.
She’ll probably start second-guessing everything she’s about to say, wondering if it will upset her partner in some way. Relationships can’t survive without vulnerability, but by that point, she’s the one who’s in survival mode.
2. She monitors her partner’s mood
Women who feel the need to monitor how their partner feels are in an impossible situation. They feel more comfortable when they know what to expect, but they also take on extra emotional labor when they do so. That takes a toll.
There’s something wrong if someone is in a relationship with a person who makes them feel like they always have to have their guard up. That’s when they should feel the most comfortable instead of like they’re walking on eggshells.
3. She tries to do everything on her own
We live in a world that encourages independence, and that’s not a bad thing. Someone could end up in a really toxic situation if they depended on anyone, including their partner, for absolutely everything.
But it’s also possible to become too independent and never reach out for any kind of support. That often occurs as a coping mechanism in response to trauma. It’s exactly what a woman who feels like she can’t trust her partner would do.
4. She shuts down instead of arguing
There aren’t a lot of people who actually like conflict, but there’s no way for a couple to completely avoid arguing. When they can disagree while still being respectful, they can actually work through their problems much more effectively.
This gets complicated when a woman doesn’t feel safe. In that case, getting into a fight is the last thing she wants to do. She’ll probably shut down instead, even if it means she can’t fight for herself. Her priority is making it through the day, not proving she’s right.
5. She spends more time with other people who care
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No one is meant to make their whole life about their partner to the point that they shut out everyone else that they love when they’re in a relationship. It’s not just possible to keep up an outside support system, but also healthy.
Everyone will have a time when they need to talk about their relationship with someone who’s not actually a part of it. That’s even more important when a woman feels like she’s had to end almost all communication with her partner for her emotional safety. There has to be someone she can turn to.
6. She never asks for reassurance
It’s totally normal for a woman to feel like she needs to turn to her partner for reassurance. There’s a fine line between seeking an unhealthy amount of reassurance and never seeking any at all, though.
A good partner will step in and provide comfort when it’s needed. If a woman has gotten used to her requests for reassurance being met with annoyance or even hostility, she’ll just stop trying. She knows there’s no point in looking for something she’ll never find.
7. She keeps her worries to herself
People usually feel happier in their relationships when they know they can tell their partner about the things that are bothering them. Whether it’s related to the relationship or not, that combination of support and respect is a big part of what makes someone feel emotionally safe.
That means it’s obviously a problem when a woman feels like she can’t open up at all. Having someone to vent to is important, but she can’t do that if she barely feels comfortable talking about anything.
8. She keeps her reactions as neutral as possible
There are two sides to a woman trying to control her reactions when she doesn’t feel emotionally safe. The more obvious reason for that is to avoid doing anything that would trigger her partner’s volatility even more.
It may actually say more about her own emotional state, though. When someone is dealing with a lot of stress, or even trauma, they can become so emotionally numb that it seems like they've checked out completely. Neutral reactions could be a sign that a woman isn’t feeling much of anything anymore.
9. She doesn’t show any affection
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It’s hard for a relationship to stay healthy without the partners showing each other affection. Then again, it’s even harder for a woman to express affection for someone who makes her feel unsafe.
Her partner might see this as one more strike against her, but she’s definitely not doing anything wrong. Affection comes from love, not toxicity.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
