10 Things Truly Secure People Shamelessly Refuse To Accept In Any Relationship
Mert Coşkun | Pexels There are people in the world who take advantage of the kindness of those who love to take care of and dote upon their partners. Sometimes this is done without them knowing, part of a repeated pattern where one person gives endlessly while the other takes, often left over from an enmeshed or overprotective childhood. Other times, the "taker" in the relationship is aware of their selfishness. Regardless of motivation, secure people will shamelessly refuse to accept these terms, setting boundaries to help their relationship move forward in a more balanced way.
Little Prince (or Princess) Syndrome, when it occurs in adulthood, is also known as Peter Pan Syndrome. The condition does not figure in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), so it is not considered an official mental disorder. But it is a common condition, nonetheless.
Peter Pan Syndrome is traditionally thought of as a situation in which a grown man is childish and immature, despite his age. But in today's culture, with many emotionally enmeshed parents and those who resort to extreme forms of "helicopter parenting", it's safe to assume that both men and women can exhibit these behaviors as well.
Little Princes and Princesses, as I define them, are grown men or women who act as if they are selfish children, narcissistic teenagers, or irresponsible young adults, and feel entitled to behave as they see fit. Fortunately, there are boundaries you can set with these partners that can help.
10 things truly secure people shamelessly refuse to accept in any relationship:
(For simplicity's sake, I use the term Little Prince below and refer to the role of mothers, not fathers, but the signs apply to all genders and can happen with any parent.)
1. Prioritizing his mom over his partner
She is more "in" his life than anyone else. She checks up on him and worries about him, even though he is a grown man. She might buy his clothes and his groceries, and do his laundry for him.
2. Acting like a child, a teenager, or a much younger person
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He might throw temper tantrums or party all night with people 10 years younger than him.
3. Acting as if women should serve them
He expects to be taken care of and be pampered on demand. He will happily take but never give.
4. Not maintaining a long-term, stable romantic relationship
Former partners end up becoming his enemies or new playmates.
5. Being commitment-phobic in nearly all areas of life, despite having a needy attachment style
It can take him six months to commit to buying a new sofa.
6. Having few, if any, close friends
His "friends" consist mostly of his mom and the strangers he meets when out playing or partying.
7. Being passive-aggressive
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Meaning he tends to engage in an indirect expression of hostility through acts such as subtle insults, sullen behavior, stubbornness, or a deliberate failure to accomplish required tasks.
8. Being a narcissist or exhibiting childish selfishness
If something is even mildly inconvenient, he will resist doing it.
9. Being financially irresponsible
He spends too much money playing, partying, or chasing after women.
10. Rarely thinking anything is their fault
He blames everyone around him for everything that goes wrong in his life, even his mother if he can't find another scapegoat.
It's unusual for a Little Prince to possess every one of these traits, so it can be hard to identify them. Their ability to lure you into their world with their childish innocence and charm makes it even trickier, but their concerned mothers and their own irresponsibility and selfishness eventually give them away.
Berit “Brit” Brogaard, D.M.Sci., Ph.D., is a professor of philosophy and Director of the Brogaard Lab for Multisensory Research at the University of Miami. Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, MSNBC, Daily Mail, TIME, Psychology Today, Psyche Magazine, ABC News, among many others.
