Men Who Act Like Actual Adults Do 9 Things Emotionally Immature Guys Can't Handle
mimagephotography | Shutterstock It might be wrong to stereotype men as being immature, but pretty much every woman has met at least one guy who’s made her roll her eyes and ask some serious existential questions.
That makes men who are actually responsible and self-sufficient feel really refreshing. These guys, who can seem pretty rare at times, do some things that emotionally immature men probably wouldn’t even think of.
Things good, responsible men do that immature guys fail spectacularly at:
1. They aren’t afraid of being vulnerable
Syda Productions via Canva
One of the fastest ways to spot an immature guy is to watch to see how he regulates and expresses his emotions. Men who shut down and refuse to share how they’re feeling definitely can’t be described as emotionally mature.
On the other hand, real men embrace vulnerability. It may not be their favorite thing, but they know it’s a vital part of building trust in relationships. They don’t act like their personal comfort is the most important thing in the world.
2. They don’t feel like their partner’s success takes away from their own
Although it’s a very outdated idea now, some men still think they need to be the breadwinner and do more than their partner. As illogical as it sounds, immature men tend to think anything good that their partner does makes them look bad.
Guys who act like adults don’t fall for those traditional gender roles. Instead, they celebrate with their partners and make them feel totally supported in the process. Women in these relationships never have to worry about their reaction when they get a promotion or get recognized for a job well done.
3. They apologize unconditionally
It’s really awkward when someone says they’re sorry, but then adds in some extra information that justifies their actions. It’s like the apology felt like an obligation, but they didn’t want to take responsibility for what they did.
That’s what immature men do because they think anything less is a sign of weakness. But men who’ve grown up swallow their pride so they can strengthen their relationships. They don’t think apologizing makes them look less macho somehow.
4. They understand what no means
People-pleasers have such a hard time telling people no that they end up stretching themselves way too thin. That can get even more complicated when they’re talking to a man who seems like he’s never heard the word in his life.
Some guys are used to always getting what they want, and they don’t react well when that’s suddenly not an option. A mature man can be told no and accept it, even when it’s not what he wants to hear.
5. They know when it’s not worth it to start a fight
Photodjo from Getty Images via Canva
It sounds super counterintuitive to say that it’s good for couples to fight, but it actually is when it’s done right. Fighting is how relationships grow, and connections strengthen, as long as no one takes it too far.
Going overboard could look like turning into a bully or making conflict a constant in the relationship. Immature guys are more likely to turn every tiny detail into an all-out argument just because they want to, while mature men can tell when that’s simply not appropriate.
6. They don’t assume their partner already knows what they need
Some people think they know their partner so well that they both know what the other is thinking without talking about it. But no one has mind-reading powers in real life, and it’s immature for a guy to think he doesn’t have to put as much effort in because of that.
Close couples might be able to anticipate each other’s needs, but they can’t truly know without talking about it. Adult men actually tell their partner how they’re feeling instead of expecting them to automatically know and then getting upset when they don’t.
7. They always try to keep their word
The idea that people should keep their word probably sounds antiquated to a lot of people now, but it’s an easy way to tell how mature a man is.
A man who always breaks his promises and shows he can’t be relied on has bigger problems than being immature. It’s also pretty clear he doesn’t value his relationship, or maybe takes it for granted and thinks it can work without him doing what he should.
Responsible men don’t have a problem with keeping their word. And if they ever do break it, they apologize and repair any damage quickly. The difference is they actually care.
8. They don’t rely on external validation
People who need to be validated by others are willing to do pretty much anything to win their approval, even if it’s not true to who they are. When they don’t get that validation, it wrecks their confidence.
Men who have it together don’t do this because they aren’t going to change their principles just to make someone else happy. Only immature men need other people to reassure them that they really are good enough.
9. They admit when they’re wrong
Andres Ayrton from Pexels via Canva
Immature guys can’t claim that emotional regulation is one of their strengths. Instead, they try to blame other people for what they do and basically shut down when someone tries to talk about the very real ways they’ve messed up.
Other men don’t feel the need to get defensive right away. They know they aren’t perfect, so they’re bound to make mistakes. But they hold themselves accountable when that does happen instead of trying to cover it up.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
