Couples Who Share Deep Love For Each Other Do 9 Things Immediately When Times Get Tough
PeopleImages / Shutterstock Tough times can make or break a relationship. Even couples with the strongest foundation might not be able to survive life’s hardest moments.
Solid relationships only last because both partners are willing to put in the work that’s needed. That’s why couples who really love each other deeply take these actions when they feel like things are starting to fall apart.
Couples who love each other deeply do these things as soon as times get tough
1. They support each other without trying to fix things
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The natural thing to do when you’re facing any kind of problem is to try to fix it. Obviously that has to be done at some point, but when someone rushes in to solve the problem before addressing their partner's feelings, it can be really hurtful.
One of the most important things couples can do for each other is provide emotional validation. This just means they both acknowledge that what the other is feeling is real. That can seem minor when there’s a big issue they have to deal with, but it reminds them of what their true priorities are and that they always have each other in their respective corners.
2. They take care not to attack or blame each other
When a couple is going through something difficult, whatever is causing the problem is the only thing they should be attacking. Unless one of them really did something wrong, there’s no point in wasting time and energy blaming each other.
Many couples do fall into the pattern of blaming each other for things that are out of their control sometimes. It’s like they want to put a face to it when that’s not possible. All this does is damage the relationship, possibly so much that it can’t be saved.
3. They work together instead of alone
It’s so simple to withdraw and turn inward when you’re going through something. The problem with someone doing that when they’re in a relationship is they’re not the only one facing obstacles. They can’t solve it on their own because it isn’t meant to be handled that way.
Most people think dependence is a bad thing, and it can definitely become toxic. But relying on your partner in a way that lets you trust them and makes you feel safe brings you closer together. Couples who really love each other know that’s the best way for them to approach their challenges.
4. They always remain respectful
Arguments are inevitable in relationships, but the way those arguments are framed is really important. Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, shared, “The first three minutes of a conflict determine how it’s going to go 96% of the time. We urge people to begin with a simpler way of starting a conversation about an area of conflict.”
Disagreements are likely to pop up even more often when a couple has to work through a serious problem. If they let themselves start treating each other with disrespect, those arguments can’t be productive, and that’s definitely not how you save a relationship.
5. They communicate clearly about how they’re feeling
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Solid couples always communicate openly with each other. It won’t always be easy for them to talk about their emotions, but they still make it a priority to do their best to understand each other.
When partners don’t share how they’re feeling with total honesty, it creates frustration, which leads to resentment over time. That gets in the way of them maintaining a close relationship, so it really won’t matter if they can work through the tough times after all.
6. They keep doing the activities that connect them
When tensions are running high, it can feel much more comfortable for couples to create some space and not spend as much time together. That’s a mistake because it will lead the partners to isolate themselves and lose sight of the shared future they’re fighting for.
Psychotherapist Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, explained that couples often wait to connect until it feels like the right moment to do so, but it will never work if they aren’t intentional about it.
Little things they do every day, like drinking their coffee together or watching their favorite show after dinner, will be hard to prioritize when there’s something bigger going on, but they have to keep those habits up so they don’t lose their bond.
7. They apologize for things they do that are hurtful
People tend to cringe when they think about apologizing. Thankfully, offering an apology in these situations doesn’t always look like giving a grand speech about how you were wrong.
In this case, an apology is about repairing any hurt in the relationship. Sometimes that means saying you're sorry, or sometimes it might mean giving each other a hug to show everything is OK. Couples who love each other make sure they do this to restore trust and comfort in the relationship.
8. They focus on the future
Going through something difficult is challenging under any circumstances. Whether you face it alone or as a couple, it’s easy to feel like that problem is so life-altering that everything that happened before doesn’t matter and everything that happens after won’t be the same.
Honestly, there are times when that could be true. But couples who are truly in love are able to recognize that a brief moment doesn’t define their entire relationship. Even if things don’t look the same anymore, they won’t forget all of the good times that led them there.
They also keep their eyes on their dreams for the future. They might need to tweak them a bit, but they don’t have to give up on them altogether. This gives them something to focus on that is bigger than the problems they’re facing.
9. They turn to others for help when they need it
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It’s hard to admit that something has snowballed so much that you need outside help to get it under control again, but that’s just the way life goes sometimes. Trusted friends and family members can be invaluable when you reach that point. There are some situations that would feel uncomfortable to share with a loved one, though, or they just require a more experienced perspective. That’s when a couple might decide to go to couples therapy to work on the things they can’t handle on their own.
Some people interpret this as a sign of weakness, but it’s the complete opposite. Getting professional help is a brave step to take. Couples do it when they’re struggling because they want their relationship to succeed. They love each other enough to swallow their pride and do something that can feel awkward.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
