If A Man Tries To Convince You 9 Things Are True, He's Probably Not A Very Good Person
Sibrapid | Shutterstock There’s not one easy way to determine if a man isn’t a good person, but manipulation makes it pretty clear that he’s not worth your time.
Sometimes men will try to make you believe some really bizarre things so they can control you. These are nothing more than lies and excuses, though, and they mean it’s time to move on immediately.
A man will only try to convince you these things are true if he’s not a very good person:
1. His opinion matters more if he’s the breadwinner
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Some men try to use their status as the breadwinner to manipulate women into thinking they’re more powerful. But these outdated gender roles couldn’t be further from the truth.
Couples need to make decisions about their relationship together. If they don’t agree, it’s time to start over.
One person’s opinion doesn’t matter more than the other, and they definitely shouldn’t pull out check stubs as some kind of proof. A man who does that doesn’t see you as his equal.
2. You don’t need boundaries if you really love him
This is a super dangerous way to think. Your boundaries will probably look different with different people depending on your relationship with them, but no one should claim they don’t apply to them at all.
Boundaries are for every relationship and every part of your life. If a man says that your love for him should outweigh that truth, he’s making it clear that he can’t respect you and your wishes. He thinks he’s entitled to whatever he wants, and that’s not the kind of guy you want to be involved with.
3. He’s only jealous because he doesn’t want to lose you
You have to be ready for some amount of jealousy in a relationship. It’s not like you can avoid it altogether. But it’s also important to watch for red flags because jealousy can turn toxic really fast.
Couples therapist Katie Schubert, PhD, explained, “If feelings of jealousy linger and/or worsen, or if it feels like it would be unsafe to bring up your feelings to your partner, these feelings can really damage a relationship.”
Unhealthy jealousy can be a precursor to much bigger problems. No man should use how much he loves you or how invested he is in the relationship as justification for acting that way.
4. His disrespect is a sign that he’s comfortable with you
There’s no excuse for disrespect in a relationship. Showing someone respect is part of loving them, so anything else is a sign something is very wrong.
If a man acts disrespectful, or even mean, and he tries to frame it as a good thing, it’s time to run. Feeling like you can let your guard down around someone doesn’t mean you can mistreat them. You probably wouldn’t act that way around the people you’re comfortable with.
What’s even more concerning is that if he says he’s disrespectful because he feels like he can be himself, he’s basically saying bad behavior is just part of who he is.
5. You can’t complain when he’s providing for you
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The dynamic that’s created by one partner making more money than the other is really complicated. But a man doesn’t have some kind of special privileges when he’s a provider. You’re in an equal partnership that you both agreed on, so why should he make it a big deal?
The amount of money a man makes doesn’t play a role in how you’re allowed to react to his bad behavior. He doesn’t have total control, and you have every right to complain. He’s not worth it if he tries to convince you otherwise.
6. You should be able to handle his mood swings
Some people have more unpredictable moods than others. It’s up to each person to decide whether they can deal with that in their relationship. If you’re not comfortable with that, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or just aren’t trying hard enough.
That’s what bad men will tell you, though. They’ll make it sound like you should be able to put up with them and even understand them if you really care. The truth is, unstable moods usually lead to failed relationships. It has nothing to do with how much you care.
7. There’s no reason not to trust him unless you can prove he’s lying
Suspicious behavior isn’t always a sign that something is actually wrong, but it’s also not something to ignore. You can usually sense a man is lying before you have concrete proof.
It’s really manipulative for a man to suggest that’s not accurate when that’s how trust works. Psychologist Ramone Ford, PhD, said, “Trust is learned over time, and it’s based on your faith in the boundaries, limitations, and expectations that you set up for each other.”
That means a man can’t decide if you trust him, and he can’t erase questionable choices he’s made. You’re not delusional for thinking something could be off.
8. Men just don’t behave as well as women
Although most people definitely have their own opinion on the subject, you can’t say that one gender behaves better or can live up to higher expectations because it’s just in their nature. Still, some men excuse their mistakes by saying women are obviously so much better.
That’s not a compliment, even if they try to frame it as one. They’re saying it’s OK that they keep disappointing you because it’s just what they do. That’s wrong, and you shouldn’t stick around because they’re feeding you the narrative that all men are like that.
9. No one else will love you because your standards are too high
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One of the worst things a man can do is make you feel trapped by saying no one else will put up with your impossibly high standards. It’s like he’s doing you a favor by staying with you because you’d surely be lonely without him.
Standards can be too high or too low, but yours probably aren’t an issue if you’re just looking for love and respect. Chances are he knows he’s not good enough for you, but he thinks he can manipulate you into believing there’s no one better out there.
A mediocre man should never be the reason you lower your standards, especially when you know in your heart they’re not unrealistic. It really is better to be alone than to put up with that kind of treatment.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
