You Can Usually Tell Someone's Taking You For Granted When They Start Doing 4 Frustrating Things
sutulastock | Shutterstock Being taken for granted is one of the worst feelings, especially if you've given your all to the relationship or partnership in question. More often than not, it leaves you feeling blindsided, especially if you tend to be biased toward optimism and always assume the best of people.
According to psychologist Ziad Roumy, there are four signals a person sends that can indicate their appreciation is starting to wane. If you start seeing them, it might be time for a conversation, or maybe even to walk away.
4 things people do when they start taking you for granted:
1. They don't respect your time.
Perhaps they're always late for everything, no matter how often you tell them it hurts you. Or maybe they cancel your meet-ups and plans at a moment's notice.
"They'll assume that you're always gonna be available whenever they need you," Roumy explained in a video, which shows a fundamental lack of respect, one they probably don't even recognize they have because they're so certain they've got you wrapped around their finger.
Sure, everyone is late now and then (some of us more than others!) but there's a difference between a simple human foible and a consistent dismissal of your feelings. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, and when they don't add up, it's usually for a reason.
2. They get annoyed when you say no.
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This one can be super revealing. Nowadays, everyone's constantly talking about setting boundaries, but what gets talked about far less is how people tend to react when you set them. In short, most people don't like it very much and even take it personally.
"It's when they 'expect and don't appreciate'," Roumy said. "They expect you to help them and do things for them and forget that you have your own needs and priorities." The minute you prioritize your own needs, they have a problem with it.
But you're allowed to say no, and unless it's to something your partner, friend, coworker, or whoever genuinely needs your help with, their anger at you doing so is probably revealing of their attitude towards you. Tread carefully.
3. They only realize your worth when you pull away.
"The moment you stop giving, they start acting concerned, mainly because they miss the benefits," Roumy said.
A person who truly cares and is actually dedicated to the relationship you have together would endeavor to find out why there's trouble in the air before it gets to the point where you've decided to distance yourself.
Someone who needs that shock to the system in order to wake up has definitely made some assumptions about your availability and allegiance. While that doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is a lost cause, it definitely means it's time for a conversation and some boundaries.
4. They don't ask for your opinion.
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Roumy says this is a red flag "especially when making decisions that affect you." This goes double when they're big choices that come up, whether in a relationship or a business partnership. If the other party is just doing whatever they want without taking your perspective and needs into consideration, that's a bad sign.
Even if they simply assume they know what you want, they're still taking for granted that you're your own person, with a dynamic personality and the ability to change your mind, and that isn't a healthy foundation for a relationship.
"They just assume that you'll be fine with whatever they decide," Roumy explained, which is inconsiderate at best, and outright dismissive and irresponsible at worst. Regardless of which or how many signs the person is showing, Roumy says that "being taken for granted comes from a lack of appreciation and ignoring your boundaries."
It doesn't necessarily have to be a dealbreaker, but it does mean it's time to, as Roumy put it, "draw the line and show them your worth." Any relationship worth its salt is an equal give and take, and no one should accept anything less.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
