13 Surprising Traits Men Say Make A Woman Unforgettable (Or Boring), According To Real Guys
What makes some men want to run away, or stay, in the beginning.
Jabari Timothy | Unsplash A relationship isn't all about the intimacy; it's also about companionship. And if your partner doesn't know how not to be boring, that's not going to work. We've all been there: you are on a date and there's nothing to talk about. They'll stare at their phone, the menu, their wine glass — anything but you. And when they do finally speak, they kind of say nothing at all.
Many men feel that what makes women boring is a lack of personal interests. They appreciate being valued but want you to have your own life, whether it's your job, hobbies, or friendships. A study found that a healthy balance of connection and independence helps couples thrive and enhances relationships. This way, you can engage on your next date with interesting topics. Forget conventional dating advice; instead, consider what men say makes women boring.
Here are 13 surprising traits men say make a woman unforgettable, or boring, according to real guys:
1. She's open to new experiences, or stuck in her comfort zone
"My motto is to discover, learn, and experience life. I want to learn something, no matter how trivial. So a woman who just wants to punch the clock and never deviate from her everyday routine would bore me.
I like a woman who has an open mind and wants to challenge herself and me in discovering new things intellectually, socially, culturally, and intimately. Someone who thinks they know it all and has no interest in expanding their mind would bore me. I like someone who embraces new experiences and is not afraid to get out of their comfort zone."
2. She brings her own unique energy, or blends into the background
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"I find no particular trait 'makes' someone boring, it's just the 'absence' of something you're looking for. An entire human consciousness can't be boring in general, only boring to you."
3. She's a great listener, or clearly not paying attention
"It's the give and take of relationships where women see I'm good at listening, but then never actually listen or allow me to talk or vent."
4. She has her own identity, or just mirrors his
"Another boring female thing? Ciphers. Meaning that they take on your personality, interests, and likes. If I wanted to date myself, I'd date myself."
5. She's confidently interested in him, or guarded to a fault
"A woman who is attracted to a man but won't be intimate with them on a first date when they are eventually going to do it anyway... What are you waiting for? Boring."
6. She has her own interesting life, or depends on his attention
"Ironically, what makes women boring to me is only wanting to spend time with me doing traditional couple things. I prefer someone who wants to spend time with other people, both with me and without me, and always has something interesting going on. As long as it's not an affair!"
7. She has stories to tell, or nothing interesting to say
"What makes a woman boring? Lack of depth, work, siblings, memories, and current movies are all great and can make for great conversation, but are not necessarily stimulating. Motivations, personality traits, things learned (or not), character's perspective or history make for non-boring (though that's probably true of men too)."
8. She's interested in learning about him, or just talks about herself
"A woman who talks for 40 minutes about themselves on a date? That's boring."
9. She's engaging in conversation, or dry and uninteresting
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"The most boring thing about some women is when they fail to be engaging in conversation, especially over text. There’s nothing worse than matching with someone, then messaging, only getting bland one or two-word responses. A woman might be fun and exciting, but if she can’t express it by engaging the guys she meets in conversation, whether in person or over text, she’ll come across as boring."
10. She's unique, or plays it too safe
"While everyone wants to date someone 'normal,' most guys want the women they meet to be at least somewhat unique. Liking dogs, listening to popular radio stations, watching Netflix, and rooting for the local sports team don’t make a person special. Men appreciate women who blaze a unique path in life and can express that. Women shouldn't be afraid to let their authentic selves shine through."
11. She's present in the moment, or constantly on her phone
"While a woman might have an exciting life on Instagram or be someone special in a virtual world, if she can't keep off her phone in real life, she'll come across as boring. No guy wants to have to constantly deal with a woman who can't put her phone down long enough to enjoy real-life adventures."
12. She brings good energy, or constant negativity
"The one thing that always wears me down and has me reaching for the eject button are women who find a way to complain (or just generally bring negative energy) about everything. I understand that misery loves company and that complaining is easy/relatable common ground.
But there is a point that I realize, 'Wow, she doesn’t have one good thing to say about anything.' And instantaneously, I know exactly what is going to come out of her mouth before she even says it. Curiosity is attractive. Negativity is boring."
13. She has her own passions, or no interests at all
"It becomes incredibly boring when I become a partner's hobby. Some likely guys are okay dating a groupie, and I appreciate wanting someone who is your number one fan. However, not having interests other than your partner becomes stale very fast. Being interested and passionate about things (as long as they're not some basic interests) makes a person tremendously interesting."
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly.
