5 Steps To Take If You Want To Find Your Person ASAP, According To A Professional Matchmaker

How to play the dating game and win.

Woman reading a book Eunavia ,Dean Drobot | Canva 

Dating can be tiring if you've been at it for a while and you just want to figure out how to find your soulmate already. To find love, the key lies in attraction. As a professional matchmaker in Los Angeles, I work with celebrities, executives, and athletes who are used to getting what they want. However, to achieve this career status, they needed all the self-discipline that they could muster. Sure, some have had fame from an early age, but to sustain this level of success, they have needed to work, hard.


Well, this may sound surprising, but dating requires the same discipline if you want to learn how to find your soulmate, a.k.a. "the one." Everyone is looking for love. They crave that special person with whom they can laugh and love, the person who has unique attributes that harmonize with them. So, if you're asking yourself, "Will I ever find love?" the answer is "yes" — if you make the effort. Here are 5 dating tips to help you find and attract love so you can meet your soulmate, quickly!

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Here are 5 steps to take if you want to find your person ASAP, according to a professional matchmaker:

1. Keep your clothes on

Often, to attract a man, women subscribe to the maxim, "If you got it, flaunt it." The truth is that although these men may be attracted to you, they often only take women seriously when they respect their bodies enough to act and dress like them. Of course, you can be attractive without wearing revealing clothes. We often advise our bachelorettes to wear a form-fitting dress on the first date.




As an illustration of this point, one bachelorette got too comfortable on a first date on the beach and started stripping. The bachelor enjoyed it but refrained from calling her again. Another bachelorette had a magical time on her first date at a romantic restaurant in Beverly Hills with her match. Overtaken by his charm, she disobeyed our guideline of no intimacy until monogamy at the minimum and agreed to stay the night with him. Although she would have loved to see him again, he disappeared.

2. Stay away from the low-hanging fruit and avoid becoming it

Men, this is for you too! Good-looking men, men in the public eye, and athletes especially need to beware. Even if a woman dresses provocatively, comes on to you, or slides into the DMs, remember that you have a choice. Guess what? She probably does the same thing for any guy whom she finds remotely appealing or has any level of money or fame. You might reply to me (in your mind), "Who cares?!"  But, remember that everything has a price. The time that you spend with this kind of woman further deters you from the right woman (and might even give you some nasty STDs, if you're not careful).

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3. Take it slowly

Women tend to feel that they need to put out to keep a man’s attention. They are anxious about how, unless they let him kiss them, sleep with them, or do anything else, he will lose interest. The interesting point that I've learned as a matchmaker who speaks to bachelors every day is that men feel the pressure too. With the right woman, it takes a while to build up the comfort level to kiss her. Remember, you have zero rush! Of course, the hormones rage inside of you, but the best way to get to know someone remains through spending time together instead of rushing into a physical relationship. Being intimate adds extremely complex emotions to the relationship that complicates it prematurely.



4. Take care of yourself

Too often, when people enter new relationships, they see the other person as the light of their lives. Just like in yoga, sports, or dance, in dating, you need to have the discipline to strengthen your core before performing at your best. In effect, this prevents you from letting a relationship define, and pretty soon, destroy you and any values that you once held. Use this precious time of singleness to develop your relationship with God. Then, you will have the insight to determine the characteristics that make a good husband or wife.

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5. Give it the good old college try

To further hone in on the qualities that you should look for in your future husband or wife, read books and articles from trusted sources on relationships. Filled with sacrifice and selflessness, relationships require pre-disposing yourself to make those kinds of choices. Relationship experts have all attested to the fact that the myth "You better sow your oats while you’re young" can end up taking you further off course from finding love and being in the right relationship that you desire. It also prevents you from developing the qualities necessary for a good boyfriend and future husband.

Fun and thrilling relationships take as much training and prep work as a pro baseball game or college final. Begin carving out time in your schedule for a relationship while still single by reading relationship material every day. Like any masterpiece, relationships take time to paint and shade with color and meaning. However, take heart: you can use the same skills that you’ve perfected in your career to bring you closer to "the one."

RELATED: The 5-Step Plan For Finding Your Soulmate (That Works)


Alessandra Conti & Cristina (Conti) Pineda are the women behind Matchmakers In The City, a top certified personal matchmaking firm in Los Angeles, New York City, San Francisco, and Washington, D.C.