7 Steamy Ways To Make Lust Last A Very, Very Long Time

Here's how to keep your relationship hot.

Last updated on Nov 15, 2023

Couple kissing in bed Mikhail Nilov | Edward Eyer | Pexels

We'll say it: After you've been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there's a flat surface and your love life isn't always super-steamy.

If you're not careful, the word "monogamy" will eventually become synonymous with "ho-hum." But, that doesn't have to happen! There are total ways to keep the fire of love burning for a very long while.


The fine people at Men's Health and Women's Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their Big Book of Sex. Here, we let you in on some of our favorite tips to make lust last in your relationship.

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Here are 7 ways to make lust last a very, very long time:

1. Rent a chick flick

Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as "the snuggle hormone." A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and 2015 research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well — not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in The Notebook!

2. Don't just say, "I love you."

It's important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick "Love you" as he's headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words.

Terms of endearment like "Honey" or "Sweetie" have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: "Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it."

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3. Change locations for making love

Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor intimacy — a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they've always wanted to try it. Um, what are y'all waiting for? 

4. Make out

Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to ten minutes of kissing only — with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you've set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter intimacy.

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5. Schedule being intimate

We've all been trained that you have to "be in the mood" to turn up the heat. That's actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man.


Everyone is busy, so it's essential to create time for your love life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires

A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, and then work together on making them happen. That way, you'll both be satisfied between the sheets. 

7. Have maintenance intimacy

It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill intimacy is still that — intimacy. And it's an important element for keeping the love alive.

As Dr. Gina Ogden — may her memory be a blessing — once said: "This is the kind of intimacy that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple." And that's what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.


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Jenna Birch is a former author, journalist, & editor. She currently leads narrative & communications at a venture capital firm.