Sorry, Boys: High Standards Don't Equal High-Maintenance

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woman smiling

The term "strong woman" sure attracts a lot of haters.

As a frequent writer of headlines with the empowering phrase, I know not everyone is a fan of the idea.

That's fine, and we're all entitled to believe what we want to believe, but what I've found is that most of the negative comments I receive come from men.

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Men complain that women's standards are too high and wish them a sarcastic "good luck" on their next relationship as if women actually care what they think about our next relationship(s). 

Well, let me be the first to tell you, sirs: these women don't need your luck and their standards aren't high (at least when it comes to suitable men they'd actually want to date). 

There's a saying I always tell myself when I feel like I'm about to be a whiny little brat (which is often): confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud.

Men who love to cry and scream that women want too much attention or have unrealistic romantic expectations are not to be listened to. I don't even think they know what they want half the time, well, besides sex. 

There will always be people who want to bring you down, don't let them. They're just projecting their insecurities onto you. 

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There will always be guys who want to bring out your insecurities — only because your strength brings out all of theirs. 

Relationships are supposed to be a system of support. The whole point of being that close to someone is to be able to count on them to lift you up and make you a better person. 

People who are constantly telling you that you want "too much" or that you're "high-maintenance" are kind of counterproductive. 

​Having high standards and knowing what you want doesn't make you high-maintenance.

Not putting up with disrespect doesn't make you high-maintenance. And believe me, there will be people who will be mad at you for choosing self-respect over disrespect. 

You have the right to have the relationship you want, regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

So next time someone tells you to cool it on the confidence and maybe even makes you doubt your own stances, fight off the negative feelings and feel flattered. 

Your sense of self is so powerful that it makes insecure people uncomfortable. And while it would be an amazing world to live in if everyone was happy with themselves, that's sadly not the case. Worry about yourself, for the time being. 

Don't make people feel comfortable by sacrificing your standards. Ever.

Your confidence should be roaring like a lioness compared to your petulant mice of insecurities. 

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Emily Blackwood is a freelance writer, editor, and journalist who covers small business, pop culture, travel, health, and wellness.