5 Sneaky Reasons You Suddenly Feel Stuck In A Relationship That Once Felt Perfect
When love feels different overnight, it's often for reasons you don't immediately notice.
Yoad Shejtman | Unsplash Once upon a time, you found a man and began a relationship with him. This guy was better than the rest. He treated you the way you always dreamed of, took you on amazing dates, and showered you with compliments and gifts.
With all the great things he was doing for you during the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you couldn’t help but wonder: What was his motive for doing all of this? Could it be that he’s genuinely in love with me, or is he playing a role?
At the moment, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something was off. Despite all the relationship advice you read, you had a gut feeling that was too good to be true.
How could a guy you’ve only dated for two months or less be so madly in love with you? What did you do to make him fall in love with you? Those are all the questions that came into my head when I was in that very situation.
Instead of taking the time to get to the root of my doubts regarding being in a relationship with my so-called Prince Charming, I rushed into it. I figured that if he loved me so much this early on, there was no way he would cheat on me or break up with me. I thought I might as well be his girlfriend.
As our relationship progressed, our dates became more inconsistent, he put less effort in, and our conversations got dull. He was no longer the guy I agreed to be with. He changed. It’s like he went from being madly in love with me to just tolerating me.
I began feeling trapped in my relationship. I thought that maybe we could get through this rough patch and go back to normal. I tried hard to salvage what was left. In the process of doing so, I realized that I couldn’t be the only one fighting to save our relationship.
Here are five sneaky reasons you suddenly feel stuck in a relationship that once felt perfect:
1. You rushed into the relationship without getting to know him
Rushing into a relationship hardly ever ends well because you don’t truly know who you’re getting involved with. We all know that in the early stages of dating, we put our best foot forward and lead with our best qualities in hopes of attracting another person.
But it takes time to get to know someone and learn if you both have an authentic connection that isn’t purely based on physical attraction. When you rush into things, you commit to the person’s representative self, without seeing their true nature. You’ll feel trapped once you realize you don’t like the real them.
2. You have unrealistic expectations that can't be met
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Remember that people are imperfect and they make mistakes. If you put your partner on an extremely high pedestal, they’ll disappoint you at some point. You can’t expect someone to be a perfect partner 100 percent of the time, because you aren’t either.
Make sure you and your partner are aware of your expectations, so you can decide which can realistically be met. This is how you keep yourself from feeling unsatisfied in your relationship. When your needs are met in a relationship, you won’t feel trapped.
John Gottman's research on marital satisfaction reveals that most conflicts are not 'solvable' problems but 'perpetual' issues rooted in unchangeable differences in lifestyle needs. Perfectionism, particularly when directed toward a partner, is strongly linked to relationship dissatisfaction.
3. You settled for less
When you settle for someone in a relationship, sooner or later, you feel trapped. Even though it was perfect in the beginning, as time goes on, your lack of satisfaction grows. You can’t help but wonder if you could do better or if he's even worthy of you.
There are too many singles out there for you to settle for someone who isn't good enough for you. Just wait until you find the person you’re looking for so you can have the relationship you always wanted.
Unmet emotional needs in a relationship can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, sadness, and anxiety. A 2023 study found that this emotional drain can contribute to personal stagnation, hindering your overall happiness and personal growth.
4. You're financially dependent on him
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Having a man pay for everything you own at first might seem great, but it isn’t. When he’s your source of income, it’s difficult for you to assert your own independence.
If you don’t act in a way that pleases him, he might just cut you off financially. Not having the luxuries you’re used to will surely cause you distress. You won’t feel like you can leave, because you won’t have any money without him. Allowing a man to be your sole provider will backfire because you’ll end up feeling like you can never provide for yourself without him.
A financial imbalance can breed resentment and a feeling that the partnership isn't mutually beneficial, one study found. The practical reality of not being able to afford to live independently can be a major deterrent, making couples stay together simply because they fear the financial consequences of separating.
5. You’re scared to leave
Sometimes the man you thought was "the one" could have a serious temper. His anger issues will hardly ever show in the beginning; in fact, he might be a complete sweetheart.
The issues only become apparent when you get deeper into the relationship, and by then it’s too late. Since you know he has anger issues, you can’t help but feel like leaving, even though you hate staying.
Tamara Sanon is a writer and editor with a passion for covering health and wellness, relationships, astrology, and lifestyle topics. Her bylines have appeared on Unwritten, NSM Today, and Orlando Weekly, among others.
