People Who Are Single Despite Having So Much To Offer Usually Have One Of These 3 Personality Types, Says Psychology
Discovering which personality type you fall under might help you get out there and meet your special someone.
Clarke Sanders | Unsplash Have you ever met someone and just thought to yourself, "Why is this person single?" It seems to happen a lot, and these aren't the single and loving it people. These are people who are open to love but simply can't seem to find it.
Even though they possess all the amazing qualities of a great partner — intelligence, kindness, humor, and personability — they just can't seem to find the right person who appreciates all that and more. According to life coach and psychologist Francesca, the reason they are uncoupled could be in their personality type.
In a TikTok video, Francesca explained that single people who don't seem like they should be single usually have one of three personality types: romantacizers, maximizers, or hesitators.
People who are single even though they have so much to offer usually have one of these 3 personality types:
1. Romanticizers
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Francesca explained that according to the book, "How To Not Die Alone" by Logan Ury, there are three different types of daters. The first one is called the romanticizer, which Francesca described as being the person who always wants to live in a fairy tale. These are the individuals who believe the perfect person who looks exactly the way they want them to is out there; they just have to meet them.
These are the types of people who believe in the idea of a soulmate. But Francesca warned that we resist this romantic idea because real love requires effort to find and sustain. There's simply no such thing as a "perfect person" either, and you can end up shutting the door on genuine people who might give you the love you deserve just because they don't tick every single box. Truthfully, as long as they're hitting the major ones, then it shouldn't matter. No one is perfect, even the romanticizer needs to acknowledge that they are fallible.
2. Maximizers
These individuals are described as always trying to make the best decisions for themselves. They're perfectionists in that they constantly want to explore all options before making the choice that feels right to them. Unfortunately, that can make them indecisive.
Francesca explained that these are the personalities who will spend two hours scrolling on Netflix to find the best movie to watch because they constantly think there will be something better than the one they've just found. "Maximizers are satisfiers," she said. "If you are a maximizer, remember this: don't let perfect be the enemy of great."
In a 2010 study, as explained by social psychologist Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D., "researchers found that people who tended to maximize searched through more dating profiles and actually selected profiles that were less well-matched with what they said they wanted in a partner. This was especially true when they had more options available to them. Why? Because when we are provided with too much information or too many decisions, it can actually lead to worse decision-making (something the researchers call the 'more-means-worse' effect)."
3. Hesitators
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If you fall under this personality type, it means you're the type of person who has unrealistic expectations of yourself, and you're actually not ready for a relationship at all because you don't think you're good enough. Hesitators think they'll be ready once they reach some arbitrary goal they have set for themselves. Perhaps it's when they lose 10 pounds, when they have a better job, or when they earn more money.
"Instead of getting out there and learning how to date because it's a skill, they wait around and they think one day they'll wake up and they'll be ready," Francesca admitted. "Unfortunately, that doesn't happen."
What does end up happening is that these people end up losing out on so many great opportunities to find someone. Francesca encouraged those who want to get over their hesitation to make a deadline for themselves, to start small, like going to public speaking classes or an improv class to practice listening and getting out of their comfort zone. Tell loved ones your goal so they can keep you accountable, and start going on one date per week.
If you fall under any of these three personality types, remember to just be compassionate towards yourself. You won't notice a change overnight, but if you persist in breaking the cycle, then you'll be able to finally get the love that you might be yearning for.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
