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Actually, the path to a better marriage is simpler than you might think!
By Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz — Written on Jul 29, 2022
Some people say, "Marriage is dead." But we 100 percent disagree!
Not only do we think marriage is here to stay, we think married life is better than ever if you know the ingredients needed for a good marriage and a thriving, healthy relationship.
Positive examples of marriage and long-term relationships abound — they are everywhere!
Successful and long-term healthy relationships are the single greatest contributors to social order in the world today. And, for over three decades, we've studied happy marriages around the globe to discover the secrets to a good marriage and how to build a love that lasts.
Successful relationships and marriages all require simple acts, gestures, and conversations. These simple things, consistently done, create a foundation for rock-solid love that lasts.
So, in order to join the ranks of other happy couples, here are 7 simple yet essential traits of a good marriage you need to apply to your own.
1. Togetherness
For a couple in a successful marriage, it is not you, it is not me... it is we!
Two separate people become one team, without losing their individual identities.
Compromise is a part of daily living in a marriage. No one can have it all his or her way.
2. Respect
A happy marriage focuses on mutual love and respect.
Respecting your spouse's individuality and opinion is critical to building a love that lasts.
3. Truthfulness
Couples talk about anything and everything. In a successful marriage, there are no sacred cows — no secrets.
When difficult issues arise, successfully married couples have open discussions, solve issues jointly and never go to bed mad.
4. Joint finances
In a successful marriage, it is "our money." It is not "your money" and "my money."
Never make a major purchase without talking it over with your spouse and then sleeping on it. Pay all of your bills together. It’s important that both of you understand your finances.
5. Fitness
Successfully married couples understand that taking care of just themselves physically is not sufficient. You must also promote the good health of your spouse.
Living until "death do us part" requires a mutual concern about one another's good health.
Using common sense about what you put into your body, getting proper exercise, rest, and relaxation is beneficial to the health of both of you.
6. Touch
In a relationship and successful marriage, touching says, "I love you so much I simply must touch you."
Touching each other multiple times per day is the norm. Use touch as your Morse code and create an exclamation mark of your love.
7. Surprise
Marriages characterized by variety and spice are the best. A successful marriage is exciting — rarely boring — and full of unpredictable things.
Don’t always do that which is predictable. Upend expectations. Variety is the spice of life!
There is nothing mysterious or mystical about building a love that lasts. But, the truth is, that too many couples don't understand or won't do the simple things required to make their marriage work.
In the end, a successful marriage is all about doing the simple things day in and day out. Start today. You won't regret it.
There is a path to a better marriage!
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Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz are America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts, authors of the best seller "Building A Love That Lasts" and keynote speakers at the Better Marriage Conference.