3 Simple Habits Of Couples Who Build Divorce-Proof Marriages
Finding ways to keep reconnecting ensures lifelong love.
Wesley Davi | Pexels No one goes into marriage looking to divorce, but sometimes the relationship grows too disconnected and divorce becomes inevitable. You both have a list of expectations and non-negotiable goals, and if they aren't met and shared, that can be dangerous to your marriage. Before you get to that point, double down on
The Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts says that 43 percent of marriages end in divorce due to basic incompatibility. With such a high divorce rate, it's important to take the time to reflect on your marriage. See what's working, what's not working, and what could cause conflict in the future. Perhaps, because you're committed and love each other so much, you're willing to work these issues out and negotiate certain terms that'll keep your marriage thriving.
Three simple habits of couples who have divorce-proof marriages:
1. Have fun
The best way to reconnect is to maintain the fun that you had at the beginning of your relationship. Try new things together — both in and out of the bedroom — and start new hobbies. Go on exciting getaways or spend a night together binge-watching your favorite TV show.
Do things that you both enjoy together. You'll have something to discuss and share, which will help your bond strengthen.
2. Communicate compassionately
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Not every disagreement has to be a heated argument or a screaming match. Relax, listen — without interrupting! — and then, respond. You'll be able to better understand your partner. When you calmly discuss an issue, your head is clear to better articulate your grievances and come to a resolution.
Psychotherapist Joan E Childs advised, "There is no intimacy without conflict; unless, of course, you agree never to disagree. Then you have a codependent relationship. In healthy relationships, neither partner subjugates their feelings to please the other. Conflicts need to be externalized and resolved. Couples need to have rules to negotiate differences. "
3. Share your goals, dreams, and desires
You can have your own goals, dreams, and desires, but having a shared list will keep the bond strong because you're on the journey to achieve those goals, dreams, and desires together. You'll better understand your spouse's path toward that goal because you share it.
"An uncertain future can almost halt you from taking action towards setting any goals, especially with the tumultuous times we continue to live in," cautioned relationship coach Keith Dent. "Even through social disruption, couples who persevere are the ones who can introduce new interests in their lives, both together and alone, and the only way to do that is by setting goals."
Those of you looking to marry soon need to divorce-proof your marriage before you tie the knot. There are a couple of economists out of Emory University who found that the number of guests who attend your wedding, the length of time that you dated before you married, and whether or not you went on a honeymoon can all impact your risk of divorce.
What can you do to avoid divorce in your current marriage? The global answer is you need to reconnect with your spouse if you want to divorce-proof your marriage.
Dr. Karen Finn is a life coach. Her writing has appeared on MSN, Yahoo! & eHarmony, among others.
