5 Signs You Already Know It’s Time To Walk Away From Someone — You Just Haven’t Admitted It Yet
Meruyert Gonullu | Pexels There is nothing worse than knowing it's time to walk away from someone, but struggling to admit it. I am a firm believer that it is better to be single than with the wrong person. I have been in several toxic relationships that drained my time and energy.
Looking back, I don’t know if I was just blinded because I liked the guy, or because I was so insecure I thought I couldn't leave. What I do know is that every time I stayed in a bad relationship, I compromised myself, my goals, and my dignity. It hurt me more, in the long run, to stay with these boys instead of leaving them. If you see any of these five signs, it may be in your best interest to walk away.
Here are 5 signs you already know it’s time to walk away from someone — you just haven’t admitted it yet:
1. You don’t feel good enough
If you’re in a relationship, you should feel good and confident about yourself. Your significant other should be telling you how beautiful you are and what an amazing person you are. If you are feeling the opposite, then they aren’t doing their job.
Your boyfriend shouldn't make you feel inadequate or self-conscious about yourself. He should be lifting you, not bringing you down. You may not be leaving because they have brought your self-confidence way, way down. You’re worth more than that.
A good partner should be one of the forces in your life that makes you feel more like yourself, not less. As life coach Mitzi Bockmann explained, "If your person makes you feel any less than good about yourself, this is a relationship you don't want to be in. It's hard enough to be a confident person in this world."
2. They're not putting in any effort
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Once were the nights of long phone calls and dates that lasted for hours. You remember them so vividly that you cling to them, trying to convince yourself that the person is still there.
Maybe he’s hiding behind this facade, and one day he will reveal himself again. Well, wake up, he’s not. If he can’t see that an amazing woman is in front of his face, then don’t give him any more time to think about it. Leave, because the right man will always make you feel wanted by his actions. Remember — don’t fall for words, fall for actions.
A University of Denver study tracking over 1,600 people found that those who cheated in one relationship were three times more likely to cheat in the next. Researcher Kayla Knopp states, "The past matters for relationships. What we do at every step along the way in our romantic histories ends up influencing what comes next."
3. You’re always mad at them
It might be because he said a snide comment, or maybe because he forgot that tonight was date night. Either way, you are never happy and find yourself constantly disappointed.
You keep trying to convince yourself that this time will be different. That it will get better, but it’s not. It’s who he is. Mental health counselor Chasity Chandler explains, "Resentments occur when there is a lack of communication and actions about things that are bothering one, if not both partners. They do not happen overnight and have oftentimes built up over many years."
These aren’t just a bunch of little things that can change. There are huge reasons why you won’t be together forever, and he’s not trying to change anytime soon.
4. They're cheating
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Whether it’s emotional or physical, there is another girl involved that maybe you can’t totally prove, but you know it’s going on. A guy who is committed and loves you should never treat you this way. In fact, he never will.
He’s not going to change, and once a cheater is always a cheater. When it comes to this, I really don’t believe in second chances if he’s already like this now. What will the future look like with him? What does this picture look like if you marry this guy? Not good. You’re worth more than just being a side chick. You should be the only chick. Remember that.
A Baylor University study found that a partner's withdrawal is the single most damaging form of disengagement in a relationship, with Researcher Dr. Keith Sanford explaining that there's "a direct association between withdrawal and lower satisfaction overall with the relationship."
5. Other areas of your life are affected
Maybe you haven’t been doing so well at work, or maybe your home life has been on the rocks. Your friends either don’t like him or don’t think he’s good for you, so they don’t want to be around him…which makes it difficult when you want to hang out in a big group.
He might not even want to come to family events because he feels so unliked by your family. Your family usually has your best interests at heart and loves you. If they think he’s bad news, he probably is exactly that. Seriously consider why they think this.
When the people who know you best all seem to be pulling you in the same direction, it's worth pausing to ask why. Licensed psychologist Dr. Suzanne Manser explains, "Your friends, if they're good friends, are a North Star for you. They know you, they love you, and they want what is best for you. Their vision is not muddied. If they don't like your partner, it is probably meaningful."
When you love someone, it’s always hard to end things, but the first person you should love is yourself. Don’t forget about number one: you can’t always put that person’s needs in front of your own because that’s when you start compromising, and it all goes down from there.
Being selfless only works in a healthy relationship where both people can be selfless together; if not, it won’t work out. You are worth it, and the quicker you get out, the happier you will be in the long run, I promise.
Unwritten publishes content on relationships, love, mental health, wellness, and more.
