The Secret Thought Men Have When They Truly Love You

He may never tell you this, but if he really loves you, the thought has crossed his mind.

Handsome young man kissing his girlfriend near the river GeniusKp / Shutterstock

The common complaint among women is knowing if a man is truly into them or not. "Men are too closed off and they don’t show their emotions easily."

So, how do we truly know if a man is into us or if we should turn the other way? What goes on inside a man’s head when he’s truly into a woman?

Relationship coach Stephan Labossiere discusses the number one thought men think when they’re in love with you.


The Secret Thought Men Have When They Truly Love You

If a man is into you he'll question whether or not you love, says Labossiere.



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Though surprising, it isn't that far-fetched. Being emotionally vulnerable will make anyone insecure, especially men who aren't used to it.


And the more your relationship progresses the more sensitive he'll act. He'll take any comment you say or action you do to heart, says Labossiere.

According to the American Psychological Association, our serotonin levels can drop when we fall in love. This is especially true for those who are naturally anxious or obsessive.

When our levels drop it can cause us to become obsessed with the smaller details, writes the American Psychological Association.



And while insecurity and obsession can be normal in the beginning, excessive amounts over long periods can become concerning.


Psychotherapist Erin Leonard writes, "A partner who is unaware of insecurities often manages a relationship by exploiting them in a partner.”

This can lead to emotional abuse, which is used to maintain control within the relationship. So, how can men learn to be emotionally vulnerable, while being secure in their relationships?

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3 Ways Men Can Become Secure In Their Relationships

Many men struggle to express their emotions, and when they can't express their emotions, and when they can't communicate their problems, it can become a bigger issue in their relationship.

Unfortunately, society is often to blame for this. Men have been taught that showing any emotion other than aggression is a sign of weakness.


To reverse this mindset here are a few things men should consider doing.

1. Accept your emotions

To become secure in your relationships you need to accept and feel your emotions.

The Family Centre writes, “Accepting that you can cry, feel anxious, overwhelmed, angry, and experience these uncomfortable emotions is the first step.”

And when you can accept these emotions while feeling secure in your masculinity, you'll know you're heading in a healthier direction.

2. Stay the course

Feeling overwhelmed when discussing your emotions is normal. However, walking away or expressing yourself through aggression is never the answer.

Take twenty minutes to yourself, writes licensed counselor Kerry Lusignan. It takes your body approximately twenty minutes to calm down.


After taking a break, come back and discuss. Establish ground rules and remind each other to be respectful when discussing your points.

3. Join a men’s group

Asking for help is the first step toward self-improvement. So, men, if you want to improve yourself and become more emotionally vulnerable, don't be afraid to speak up.

A support group for men, known as Strive, can provide you with professional tips and support from like-minded individuals who also wish to grow alongside you.


Feeling insecure in love is pretty normal, as we all want to feel valued and loved. But it's important to talk about these feelings with your partner.

If they care about you, they'll be happy to reassure you and work through these things together.

RELATED: 20 Ways To Stop Being So Insecure In Your Relationship

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.