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You want things to last, right?
By Rachel Moheban — Written on Jan 15, 2023
All little girls grow up whispering secrets to their trusted girlfriends. Sharing secrets with friends is an integral part of growing up and developing trust.
Nothing changes as an adult except that those secrets become a little more complex than simply whispering exciting little secrets to a friend.
Secrets in the adult world often imply a certain level of "shadiness," leaving an impression of "having something to hide" or "sweeping things under the rug." And in a relationship, keeping secrets from your partner is a definite no-no.
That's why it's key to always be honest with your partner. No matter how uncomfortable the truth may be, no matter how inconsequential your secret feels, telling lies or avoidign the truth sets off an avalanche of problems, three of which I will list below.
Nothing is more counter-productive to growing an open and honest relationship than keeping secrets from each other. Not to say that couples aren't allowed some level of privacy, but sharing and communicating with one another is the best and only way to build a healthy relationship.
Thinking, "What she doesn't know can't hurt her" or "What's one little white lie?" is definitely not the way to achieve this.
These reasons should be convincing enough to stay away from bending the truth.
Here are the top three reasons couples should always tell the truth, even when it seems like no big deal
1. Secrets always have a way of getting out.
Secrets tend not to stay... well... secret for very long. Someone will end up finding out this secret or that you're keeping it. This isn't an age-old saying for nothing; it's a tried and tested fact of life.
2. Secrets breed more (even bigger) secrets.
Secrets have an uncanny ability to multiply at a very rapid pace, and before you know it, you and your partner may find your relationship drowning in a sea of secrets.
3. Once your secret has been found out, your partner may start to keep secrets of their own.
Break the vicious cycle of untruths in your relationship, and work toward being completely open and honest with your partner.
RELATED: 20 Dirty Little Secrets Women Go Out Of Their Way To Keep From Men
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Rachel Moheban-Wachtel is a couples therapist and social worker. Using her 23 years of experience, she helps individuals and couples heal from pain holding them back from reaching their full potential and enjoying life.