5 Questions The Best Husbands Ask Their Wives Every Day (Or At Least Every Week!)

Photo: Dean Drobot /
Happy man and woman on the beach

Many good husbands have the best of intentions to take care of their partners, but many of them have no idea what questions they should ask their wives on a regular basis to show they are interested, engaged and that they want to be helpful.

They know what questions to ask at work, or with their buddies, or even with their parents but their partners on the other hand. Despite true and honest love, they are sometimes confounded by them.

Making your wife happy is all about asking the right questions.

Here are 5 important questions that you can start with.

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1. Do you want to go on a date?

I know, I know. You have been with your person for a while. Wouldn’t it feel silly to ask them out on a date at this point? Absolutely not!

One of the things that I hear from most of my female clients is that they miss the courtship period of their relationship.

You know what I mean — in the beginning when you wined and dined your wife, brought her flowers, and made plans.

Many men are happy when the relationship goes out of the courtship phase into the happily settled down phase. They feel like the pressure is off and they can just live their lives with their person.

There is nothing wrong with that but that isn’t necessarily what their girlfriends or wives want.

So, I would encourage you to invite your woman out on a date. Perhaps a dinner out? A picnic on the beach? A movie and a slice of pizza? Something out of the norm of what you usually do.

It is very important that you make a plan, and don’t rely on them to do so, and that the plan is something that you know they will enjoy. No baseball games unless that is something that they actively enjoy doing!

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2. How was your day?

We are all exhausted when we get home from work. We all work too hard and if you add kids, dogs, friends and family members into the mix, life can feel overwhelming.

That said, checking in with your partner to see how their day was is a key part of staying connected with your girlfriend or wife.

I know that it seems like a small thing, and sometimes it may be redundant because their day might not have been much different from yesterday. But when you ask someone how their day went, even if you know the answer, you are making them feel like you are interested in their lives and that makes them feel important.

It is important that, after you ask them, you listen for the answer and maybe even ask questions and engage in conversation. I remember that my ex used to ask me how my day was while he was going through the mail. I didn’t feel like he even cared; it was as though he was just asking me to check a box.

Ask your girlfriend or wife how their day went to make them feel important!

3. How are you feeling?

Women process emotions 24/7 and they have for most of their lives. They are, in many ways, fluent in the art of talking about their emotions. In general, this is not so much the case for men.

As a result, many men are scared to ask how their person is feeling because they are nervous about what the answer will be and not sure if they can be helpful if they need to be.

I can promise you that if you ask your wife or girlfriend how they are feeling and just listen to their answer, you will be scoring points. Almost as much as they like processing their feelings, women like to know that they are being heard — but that no one is trying to fix them.

Just know that if you ask your person how they are feeling, you won’t need to be worried about having to answer correctly or fix anything. Truly, all you need to do is listen and your girlfriend or wife will feel loved.

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4. What do you need me to do?

In my experience, many men don’t ask what their women need from them. As a result, they tend to forge ahead doing something for them that they might not want or might not be a priority for their partner.

When you do something for your person that they don’t want you to do it might be a disaster.

You can ask what your wife or girlfriend needs regarding any topic. If it’s the weekend, you could ask what chores you could do.  If she seems down, ask her what she needs to help her feel better. If she wants to go away for the weekend, ask her how you can help her do that.

And, if you see her really struggling, don’t try to fix her. Ask her what she needs from you in the moment. It could be nothing, or it could be something that you never thought of.

Never forget to ask, she will be glad you did and really appreciate it.

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5. Do you know how much I love you — and can I rub your feet?

I know that you are probably thinking that this one is a pretty big one but you don’t necessarily have to do them together.

The reason I have included these on the list is because of the importance of physical touch and words of affirmation for women. And these are both things that men can struggle with providing, not because they can’t but because it might not always come naturally to them.

You might be thinking that your wife or girlfriend knows you love her. So, why should you have to ask her that? While your wife or girlfriend might, in fact, know, there isn’t a woman in the world who doesn’t want to hear, over and over, that her man loves her.

Being reminded that she is really and truly loved makes a woman feel loved and protected.

As to the rubbing of feet, it’s all about physical touch.

For men, physical touch is often about sex so the rubbing of feet might seem odd. For women, sex is very much a good thing but most women need some kind of non-sexual physical connection to feel close enough to their partner, to get her in the mood.

Many men don’t realize this because for them it is different; having sex makes them feel closer to their person.

So, giving your wife or girlfriend a foot rub or a massage will not only make her feel loved and protected but might also just be a gateway to sexual intimacy.

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Knowing the right questions to ask your wife is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.

I say it’s the first step because just knowing the questions won’t get you anywhere. Use them.

Ask your person if they want to go on a date, ask about their day, ask how they are feeling, and what they need; give them the words of affirmation and physical touch that they need.

I can promise you that even one of these questions can have a big effect on your connection with your wife or girlfriend.

So go for it!

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Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based, certified life and love coach. She helps people find, and keep, love in this crazy world in which we live. Check out her website or reach out via email.