5 Questions To Ask Yourself If You're Unsure About Your Relationship

There are bound to be points of doubt throughout any romantic relationship, moments when you ask yourself, “Is this person the right person for me?” It’s unlikely that you’ll feel completely certain about your partner one hundred percent of the time.

Podcaster Chris Williamson shared certain ways to know if the person you’re with is really the best match for you.

There are 5 questions to ask yourself if you’re unsure about your relationship.

1. Would it be a compliment if someone told you that you’re just like your partner?

We’ve all heard the adage that opposites attract, but it turns out, that might not be the case, at all. The idea of opposites attracting can be traced back to a paper from 1954, written by sociologist Robert F. Winch.

Yet it’s more likely that people tend to choose partners whose ideals align with their own values, political views, and the ways they want to live their lives.

There are 5 major traits, commonly known as “The Big Five,” that represent the differences in people’s personalities. These traits include:

Intellectual curiosity or openness to experience
Conscientiousness
Sociability
Compassion
Tendencies toward anxiety or depression

Most partnerships are composed of two people with higher levels of similarity than difference.

5 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Unsure About Your Relationship Photo: Anna Shvets / Pexels

Of course, you might not love every aspect of your partner’s personality; they’re sure to have quirks or habits that get under your skin. Yet if someone told you that you and your partner are totally alike, how would that sit with you?

If the thought of being like your partner makes you recoil, you might want to rethink why you’re with them at all.

2. Are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?

Our society is in the midst of a major loneliness epidemic. The level of loneliness has grown so deep that the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, labeled the lack of connection and increase in social isolation as a public health crisis.

Social connection is hugely important for us to thrive, but if you’re in a relationship, you should ask yourself whether the person you’re with makes you feel fully fulfilled, or if being together feels more like a temporary solution to being on your own.

5 questions to ask yourself if you're unsure about your relationship Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Maybe it feels easier to be with your person than it would to be alone, yet it’s valuable to remember that we all deserve partnerships that fulfill us on a mental, emotional, and physical level. If your relationship is more of a bandaid than a true balm for your soul, it might not be the right relationship to put your energy into.

3. Are you able to be unapologetically yourself?

When you’re with your partner, are you your fullest self, or do you show up differently to please them? You should feel a level of comfort with your person, a knowledge that you will be fully loved and accepted for exactly who you are.

4. Are you in love with who your partner is right now, as a whole?

Connected to the previous question is the question of whether or not you love your partner fully for who they are, in the present moment, or if you love only their positive attributes, their future potential, or solely the idea of who they are as a person.

We want our partners to be the best, most fully realized versions of themselves, yet we should love them in a way that follows the map of radical acceptance. Loving all of them, including the dark, hard parts; loving them for who they are today, and not who we want them to be in the future.

5. Would you want your future or imagined child to date someone like your partner?

Picture your life years down the road, and imagine that your child introduces you to their other half, and it’s someone who’s just like your partner. Would you be happy and accepting of their choice, or feel wary and disappointed?