A 3-Step Plan To Get The Girl Of Your Dreams (That Actually Works)

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A lot of guys set themselves up for failure when it comes to meeting the girl of their dreams. Why? Because they set unrealistic goals.

Do you know what it takes to get the girl?

How you get the girl ultimately depends on you and your efforts to find true, lasting love.

Even if the overweight guy currently living in the back of his van wants to date a supermodel, he has to ask himself, "What am I bringing to the table?"

If you're not successful and don't put any effort into your looks or personality, you can't expect your partner to be a gorgeous doctor. Set your sights on someone that's on your level and win her over.

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Here is a 3-step plan to get the girl of your dreams (that actually works):

1. Create a 'love list' of all the things great about you

This is a list of all the nice things people say about you. Even if you have to reach as far as, “My mom says it’s great that I floss two times a day.”

It doesn’t matter; just start writing. And if you run out of things you or other people love about you, take a break and get back to it later. You'll eventually have a long list of things that make you awesome.

RELATED: The Top 12 Qualities Men Want In A Woman To Marry

2. Make an 'ad' for the qualities you want in your dream girl

Write an ad describing the person you want to meet. Be specific. List your dream girl's traits, mannerisms, hobbies, and characteristics.

Don't forget to be realistic. Set your expectations about your dream girl according to your station in life and how you present yourself to the world. If you want to date a model, you need to embody the same traits she has (e.g., put a lot of effort into your appearance and step up your drive).

You can’t find what you’re looking for if you don’t know what it is. And you can’t find the girl you’re looking for if you’re not looking in the right place. If your dream girl spends her quality time in the library, you likely won’t find her in a nightclub.

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3. Learn how to read and connect with people

When you can properly read someone, they will feel connected and understood. Not only will this make you more likable, but it will help get you out of your own head!

When you read someone, you aren’t just listening to what they’re saying. The majority of communication is body language and tone of voice, so you’ll need to really pay attention! My favorite way to fine-tune that skill is to choose three people every day to read.

If you’re standing in line at Starbucks, look at the person in front of you. Are they checking their watch, or doing a poll on Instagram about if they should have the Cinnamon Dolce or Caramel Macchiato? Are they breathing slowly and deeply, or taking shallow breaths into their chest?

If you choose to start a conversation with them, match their breathing first, then subtly match some of their body language. You can mirror them by placing a hand in your pocket or using the same hand as them. These are little things that make them feel you’re on the same wavelength.

The emphasis is on subtlety. You can easily cross the line into creepy by obsessively ogling and mimicking their every move.

Learning to read people will help you in any aspect of your life.

You didn’t become the person you are now overnight, so you won’t become the person you want to be instantly, either.

But if you take steps every day toward your dream girl and strive to become someone that she would want in return, you will eventually get to your desired destination.

Keep yourself focused on the positive and more positives will grow. Start with these steps, and watch as your love life transforms.

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Erika Jordan is an internationally acclaimed love and relationship expert, NLP practitioner, author, media personality, and leader in the field of digital romance and online dating.