People Who Have This One Personality Trait Are Naturally More Attractive, Says A Matchmaker
eclipse_images | Canva Looks aren't the only thing that makes someone attractive.
As a professional matchmaker, one of the most challenging things I have to deal with in my job today is online dating. Sadly, this practice only focuses on pictures of potential candidates; the dating scene has become very visual. I try not to show pictures of clients unless it is an absolute must, because I have never met anyone (except models) who looks better in a photo than they do in real life. My background in sales, PR, and marketing helps me present each client as the complete person they are, but there's one personality trait that can make almost anyone naturally more attractive: humor.
Humor is the personality trait that makes someone naturally more attractive
A pretty picture can keep you from giving funny people a chance
Being physically attracted to your partner is important, but if you base attraction solely on a pretty picture, you are probably not going to be able to come “out of the box.” In the dating world, this means coming outside of your comfort zone.
Men tend to focus more on a specific type of look when searching for a partner, while women often pursue the perfect whole package or the bigger picture. That is why there are so many single women! It isn't until they realize that the "perfect" man doesn't exist that they can open their mind, expand their options, and find love.
Attraction can grow once someone makes you laugh
Srdjan Randjelovic / Shutterstock
I have even been able to fix up couples in ways that are the complete opposite of what they originally wanted. Why, you ask? Before I sign on potential clients, I conduct a consulting interview. At that time, I suggest they make a few changes to their wish list and be more realistic about their potential partner.
It is a visual world, and as much as it should be about the connection of two souls... who are we kidding? Love at first sight won't happen if both parties don't feel a visual connection. But once you make each other laugh or find something in common, the potential for physical attraction becomes much greater. That is what men and women want: a spark of electricity. Find that, and you may start to catch each other's attention.
Humor can make someone more appealing than good looks alone
I tell my clients that even pretty people can get ugly if they have an "other side." For a successful relationship, there has to be chemistry and compatibility. Humor can help create both by making two people feel comfortable, connected, and excited to spend more time together.
Conventionally attractive people can be intimidating because they tend to think they could do "much better" or don't always bring 100% of their best qualities. Someone who might not have originally caught your eye may possess many of the qualities you're searching for in a partner:
- Kindness
- Compassion
- Generosity
- Humor
And once you get to know that person, their positive traits make them all the more desirable! This reminds me of an old song that goes something like "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, don't make a beautiful woman your wife!" This may be tongue-in-cheek, but it serves as a reminder to us to place more value on the personality and values of our potential partners. And who knows? You might just find them beautiful, to boot.
Susan Alper is a matchmaker and the CEO of Susan Alper Connections Inc., with over 20 years of experience building her network of business and personal contacts across North America to help people find their life partners.
