People Who Turn A Crush Into A Life-Long Love Follow One Simple Rule
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock People are told the secret to a happy marriage is to take things slow when you're dating. Other people will say, "When you know, you know!" and encourage people to follow their passions. These two sayings are so popular, they're almost cliché. Yet, they contradict each other!
To make things even more complicated, a couple will get engaged after six months and have a long-lasting marriage. Other couples have been together for six years or more, and get divorced after less than one year of marriage.
Taking things slowly in a relationship doesn’t guarantee success, but it’s wisest to err on the side of caution, especially when everything is so new.
Your best bet for staying strong as a couple is to learn how to take things slow in a new relationship. It's easier said than done, but in the long run, you'll thank yourself.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all when it comes to the pacing of a relationship, but going slow allows you to know what you’re getting yourself into.
People who turn a crush into a life-long love take things slow for these reasons:
1. Physical attraction won’t be the only thing you have in common.
Often, when people rush into relationships, it’s based on physical attraction and chemistry. At first, it may seem fun and exciting, but the longer you stay with the person, you realize you aren’t compatible or able to compromise at all.
The lack of emotional compatibility and compromise will ultimately result in the demise of the relationship. However, when you take things slow in a relationship, you’re able to see whether or not the connection surpasses the physical attraction.
Early on in a relationship, it can be hard to tell the difference between love and lust because they seem so similar. Slowing down and using that time to focus on the commonalities and learning how to compromise allows the relationship to have more depth.
2. You’ll be able to build a genuine connection.
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When the physical aspects of a relationship aren’t the top priority, it allows a couple to build a connection based on emotions. Emotional connection is what makes you want to stay in the relationship long-term. Anyone can be a great kisser, but not everyone understands you and your little quirks.
The only way you get to build a connection is through having conversations. Not just small talk, but conversations that are vulnerable and uncomfortable.
These are the conversations that foster true connection because they aren’t surface-level. Connection requires depth, and to have those deep conversations, you need time to build trust within the relationship.
3. Red flags are obvious.
The longer you stay with someone, the more you notice their negative traits. It’s safe to say that we all have a few flaws, but that doesn’t mean we’ll never be able to have healthy relationships. It’ll just take a little work.
When you take things slowly, you get to decide whether you're willing to accept those negative traits. If you aren’t, you can leave the relationship fairly unscathed. If the relationship is worth it, it gives you both an opportunity to work on yourselves before things get more serious.
When it comes to turning casual dates into a serious commitment, there's also no foolproof manual. So it's hard to know when you’re moving too fast or at the right pace.
The best way to know is to be aware of your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable doing certain things, no matter how insignificant it may seem to your partner, you aren’t ready. If you feel rushed, that’s another sign to take things slow.
Long-lasting relationships aren’t a sprint; they’re a marathon. It takes time to build a strong bond and get to know each other. Relationships should naturally progress when both partners are on the same page, and nothing feels forced.
Tamara Sanon is a writer and editor with a passion for covering health and wellness, relationships, astrology, and lifestyle topics. Her bylines have appeared on Unwritten, NSM Today, and Orlando Weekly, among others.
