People Who Make Themselves Less Attractive Often Don’t Even Notice They’re Doing These 7 Things
The under-the-radar actions that chip away at your attractiveness.
Look Studio / Shutterstock Attraction is mostly about the energy you project and the habits you nurture, and many of the things that can make us less appealing to others are completely within our control — but too often, we don't even realize we're doing them.
By making small, intentional shifts in how you present yourself to the world, you can let your natural charm shine through and create more meaningful connections with the people around you. Understanding these patterns is the first step toward becoming the most magnetic, gorgeous version of yourself that people truly gravitate toward.
People who make themselves less attractive often don’t even notice they’re doing these 7 things:
1. They don't get enough sleep
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This one is harder than it seems because, of course, we love our sleep, but we also love staying up late and ignoring the bedtime we set for ourselves about three hours prior. But how does rest help you become attractive? Well, they don’t call it “beauty sleep” for nothing. Way back in 2010, researchers did what they do best and asked people to rate the attractiveness of others.
They showed photos to participants of people who had and hadn’t slept for at least eight hours the previous night. The participants not only rated the sleep-deprived souls as less attractive, but suggested that they were also “less healthy, and sadder.” So go to bed early tonight, because otherwise, you come off as a (literal) zombie to that new office hot guy you’ve been flirting with for weeks.
2. They're harsher than they need to be
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Way harsh, Tai. A few years ago, Chinese researchers conducted a test by having a panel of participants judge the photos of people who wore their best “neutral” expression. They also pre-stocked the photos with the words “decent and honest,” or “evil” and “mean.” Not surprisingly, the photos of people accompanied by negative-sounding words got rated as the least attractive.
So, don’t be a meanie because the perception of "mean" is enough to make you appear less attractive to someone around you. And nice guys? Keep it up. Because being nice is way more attractive than being harsh.
3. They slouch or cross their arms
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There’s such a thing as the power pose, which can make you feel hyper-confident and is great for making yourself more powerful before an interview or a meeting if you want to exude a certain assurance about yourself. So, pushing your body outward is good, but pulling your body inward has the opposite effect. Researchers discovered in 2016 that “contractive” body language actually makes your appeal circle the drain.
Hunching your shoulders, slumping your body posture, or crossing your arms are all examples of “contractive” language that makes your attractiveness levels drop. Photos between people with contractive poses and people with the opposite — expansive poses — were posted on a dating site, and the expansive photos were selected far more often than their opposite. So, listen to your mother and sit up straight — it might actually get you a date.
4. They always seem on edge
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Stressed? Who’s stressed? Well, according to a 2013 study, women with high levels of cortisone in their bodies — that is, the little hormone that makes your heart race and your fear increase tenfold — were considered less attractive.
Researchers suggested that it’s probably because the presence of lower stress levels gives off the appeal of health and fertility, and cortisone counteracts those awesome baby-making waves you’re sending out.
5. They have no sense of humor
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People who lack a sense of humor are seen as significantly less attractive, and this holds true regardless of gender. Studies have found that the ability to appreciate humor and share a laugh is universally appealing, while someone who never cracks a smile or gets the joke can be off-putting to others.
You don't need to be a stand-up comedian or have everyone in stitches. Simply showing that you can laugh at life, appreciate someone else's humor, and occasionally share a lighthearted moment goes a long way.
When you're meeting new people, pay attention to opportunities for laughter and don't be afraid to show your playful side. A genuine smile and the willingness to find joy in everyday moments make you far more approachable and appealing than keeping a serious demeanor all the time.
6. They come across as lazy or unhelpful
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Helpfulness is very attractive, according to a series of experiments by researchers. In a study based on asking people before and after a six-week archeology course to rate each other’s personality traits, those people who’d turned out to be lazy or unhelpful dug themselves a deeper hole than the people who were even slightly helpful.
Even people who were previously rated as “average” earned themselves some kudos in the attraction department after they proved willing to jump in and help. So offer help when you can, especially to the people who you want to like you, because you could give yourself a major bump in the attraction department.
7. They lie like it's no big deal
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For both men and women, this was a universal truth: We don't like dishonesty. A 2006 study had participants read about both men and women and describe them in either positive ways or negative ways, suggesting that they were intelligent or not; independent or clingy; honest or untruthful.
And the result? Of the three sets of criteria, only honesty had a substantial effect on how attractive they thought people were. That means that yes, people who lie all the time are literally unattractive to everyone around them.
Merethe Najjar is a professional writer, editor, and award-winning fiction author. Her articles have been featured in The Aviator Magazine, Infinite Press, Yahoo, BRIDES, and more.
