One Tiny Thing You Can Do Every Single Day To Vastly Improve Your Relationship
This small shift in how you connect with your partner can go a long, long way.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock We're all looking for ways to make our relationship better. But with so much information out there, it can feel overwhelming. So, what's an easy method we can use to slowly improve our relationship day by day?
Psychologist Stan Tatkin has one great tip that you can use to improve your relationship slowly.
One Thing You Can Do Every Day To Improve Your Relationship
"When you feel a personal excitement, personal joy, for whatever reason, how many times do you take that and move that over to your partner for mutual amplification," asks Tatkin.
Most of us probably haven't, and that's nothing to be too ashamed of. When we're in the middle of intense emotions, it's hard to think about anyone else but ourselves.
But as Tatkin points out, channeling that excitement and sharing it with your partner is crucial for slowly improving your relationship.
Use that excitement and say, "Honey, I'm so lucky to have someone like you in my life."
This comes off as genuine because there is authentic joy and excitement behind your tone. And when your partner feels that genuineness, it becomes contagious.
Tatkin explains, "You're both going to get a hit off of that dopamine. You're both going to get very excited."
Through this small change, your relationship will begin to blossom and become increasingly positive. However, what if you struggle with staying positive? How do you create joy?
Psychologist Abbey Medcalf has two tips you can use.
How To Stay Positive
1. Focus on yourself
It's easy to put others first, especially since we're taught that it's both admirable and selfless to do so.
However, always putting others before your needs can lead to negative self-talk, says Medcalf. That's because we're trying to impress others out of fear.
So, don't care too much about what others have to say. Remind yourself that your needs matter and do activities that bring you joy.
Whether it's painting or reading, doing things that make you happy will start to fill you with more positive energy over time.
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2. Focus on the emotions, not the details
When we're feeling emotional, we tend to overthink things. We obsess over how someone said something or if they looked angry or disappointed.
Which is why we need to be general in our approach.
Medcalf explains, "The way to be more general in your thoughts is to focus on it on an emotional basis rather than a detailed basis."
Breaking this down into two steps:
- Name the thought or belief that's holding you back.
- What's the best emotion to describe how you feel?
Once you narrow those things down, you can start thinking more broadly. Moreover, you won't have to obsess over the small details because you'll have a better grasp of your emotions.
But, if you're having trouble clearing your head, there are a few things you can try. First, try exercising by either weight lifting or walking.
According to Harvard Health, "Exercise reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol."
Moreover, give meditation a shot to help ground your body and mind back to reality.
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Spreading joy and positivity in your relationship is a great way to make it better every day. But for some, staying positive can be tough.
In those moments, focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Focus on your own emotions, and disregard the details.
These small but helpful tips can help boost your mental health and improve your relationship quality over time.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.