Men Who Suck At Saying What They Actually Mean Often Use 22 Weirdly Confusing Phrases
GaudiLab | Shutterstock Believe it or not, men are simple creatures, and so is their communication style. What they say is pretty close to what they mean. What they say may seem weirdly vague to us because women tend to think more contextually and emotionally.
That’s why women often try to find meaning in a man’s lightest utterance, especially when you're trying to tell if a guy likes you.
Many men say things to get their point across without hurting our feelings or causing drama or an emotional scene. Here’s a quick guide to some oddly confusing things men say and what they mean.
Men who stink at communicating often say a few really confusing things:
1. 'I’m not really looking for a relationship right now'
Translation: “I’m being honest. I don’t want a relationship with you. I’m not making any promises about us having a future together, but we can still hook up.”
Hint: When he says he doesn’t want a relationship, he means it. This isn't a challenge for you to try to change his mind. He's already decided he doesn’t want something serious with you.
2. 'I’m okay'
Translation: “I’m not okay, but just let me be. I’d prefer to deal with this on my own. Please stop asking me what’s wrong, because the more times you ask that question, the less okay I feel.”
Hint: Men tend to work on things internally. When he says he is okay, give him space and stop questioning him. If you don’t let him be, he will distance himself and pull away further.
3. 'I like you, but...'
Translation: “You’re smart, funny, and attractive; I like you, but I don’t see myself being with you. Can we be physical, though?”
Hint: When a man wants to be with someone, he won't hesitate. When he uses buts and excuses, he is trying to keep you from getting your hopes up.
4. 'I don’t want to ruin our friendship'
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
Translation: “I’ve never thought about dating you, and I don’t like you enough to change my mind. I am not physically attracted to you in that way. But you are my friend, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Hint: Men are intimate creatures, and if he doesn’t feel attracted to you, then don’t waste your time trying to escape the friend zone.
5. 'I’ve been busy'
Translation: “I am not interested in you, so I don't make time to see you or make plans with you.”
Hint: We're all busy, but when we care about something, we will always make time for what we want to do and who we want to see.
6. 'I'm not sure where our relationship is going; I need time to think'
Translation: “I am having doubts about you; I don’t think you are the right woman for me. I need time to decide how I am going to break up with you.”
7. 'I don’t post who I date on social media'
Translation: “Sure, we have fun together, and I like spending time with you, but I am still testing the waters and fishing around. I don’t want other women to think I am taken and ruin my chances to be with other women."
8. 'I don’t want to hurt your feelings'
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock
Translation: “I don’t want you to get attached to me or have feelings for me when I don’t feel the same way about you.”
One study on emotion repression suggested it could be a genuine attempt to be kind, or a way to deflect from a difficult or uncomfortable truth. Consider the context and his typical communication style to understand the nuance of his statement.
9. 'Okay, I’m sorry'
Translation: “I’m tired of arguing, okay, you win.”
Men, in general, may have a higher threshold for what they consider offensive and may be less attuned to the emotional nuances that bother their partners. Research suggests they may apologize without fully grasping the extent of the other person's hurt.
10. 'I love you'
Translation (after being intimate): “Wow, you just blew my mind; this was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I look forward to getting with you again.”
Translation (any other time): “Wow, I like you; you are an amazing woman, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I think you are the one.”
11. 'We should hang out sometime'
Translation: “I am attracted to you; I want to take you out on a date.”
Some researchers suggest that men may use vague language like this to test the waters of social connection, possibly to find a mate or form friendships. Social norms around politeness and avoiding direct rejection may shape how they speak to you, especially early in the interaction.
12. 'I don’t do relationships'
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
Translation: “I want to keep my options open in case someone better comes along, but I want to keep being intimate with you. But also don’t go anywhere because I like to have you around as my backup plan.”
13. 'I don’t care either way'
Translation: “Will you make up your mind already? I don’t have an opinion about this anyway. Whatever you choose is fine with me. And the quicker you decide, the better.”
14. 'Nice jeans'
Translation: “Your butt looks amazing.”
In some social contexts, particularly dating scenarios, compliments on appearance can signal a man's interest and availability. Research supports this, showing men use more metaphorical appearance compliments in dating than in work environments.
15. 'You deserve better'
Translation: “You are a great woman, but I can’t give you what you want and need; please move on."
When a man says this, it can mean a few things, often that he doesn't believe he's the right person for you, either because of his issues or because he genuinely thinks you could find a more fulfilling relationship. Research suggests it's not always a compliment; sometimes it's a way to avoid responsibility or soften the blow of a breakup.
16. 'I miss you'
New Africa | Shutterstock
Translation (if you have been dating for a while): “I miss spending time with you”.
Translation (if you are not in a serious relationship but have hooked up a few times): “I want to be intimate with you again.”
17. 'We will see'
Translation: “You’re not getting the hint, and I am trying to find ways to avoid making plans with you so I don’t hurt your feelings with rejection.”
18. 'Who's that guy?'
Translation: “I am feeling jealous right now, who is this dude, do you like him? Have you slept with him? Do you want to sleep with him?
19. 'I was kidding'
Translation: “I meant what I said; I didn’t think you would overreact and act crazy at me. Can you just calm down?“
Research stresses the importance of differentiating between humor that strengthens relationships and humor used to demean or insult others. Weaponized joking can be a form of emotional abuse where hurtful remarks are disguised as jokes.
20. 'It’s not you, it’s me'
Mladen Mitrinovic | Shutterstock
Translation: “It’s you, but I won’t tell you that because I don’t want you to go crazy on me or start crying.”
This often indicates he's ending the relationship but trying to soften the blow and avoid blaming the other person. One study found that this phrase suggests the breakup isn't the other person's fault, but rather a personal issue or incompatibility on his part.
21. 'I want to be with you'
Translation: “I want to be with you.”
Research suggests that men, like women, seek emotional closeness in relationships, and this desire can strongly motivate someone to want to be with another person. Open and honest communication is crucial for both parties to understand each other's needs and expectations.
22. 'I have too much going on in my life right now'
Translation: “Yes, I am trying to figure out my life right now, but you’re not a priority. And I don’t like you enough to arrange things to be with you.”
Next time you find yourself scratching your head trying to figure out what he means, use this as your online bible to translate the most common things that men say and what they likely mean.
However, if you are constantly trying to figure out how a man feels about you, then deep down, you know he is not the right man for you.
Mitzi Hernandez is a freelance writer whose work has been published in El Sol de México, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, El Heraldo de Chihuahua, El Sol de Zacatecas, and more.
