8 Little But Lethal Behaviors That Erode Relationships Over Time, According To Psychology

The strongest relationships aren't always destroyed by dramatic betrayals. Sometimes they're quietly chiseled away by small, seemingly harmless patterns that continue to accumulate. While we often focus on the big relationship challenges, it's the subtle daily interactions that truly shape the quality of our connections with others.

Most of these behaviors develop unconsciously. By bringing awareness to these patterns, we can make intentional choices that honor both ourselves and the people we care about, creating the foundation for deeper trust and better relationships on the whole.

Here are 8 little but lethal behaviors that erode relationships over time, according to psychology:

1. Apathy

couple where love is not in the air that will erode relationship over time Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

In the beginning, people look at each other through rose-colored glasses. But as time goes by, either because we get used to the partner or we start seeing their flaws, the magic of love begins to fade away.

So, if you realize that the spark of your love is gone, you don’t feel like showing affection, and well, you just don't care anymore, you’ve got a problem, and it’s time to talk about it.

Research stresses that addressing apathy early on through open communication and shared activities is crucial for couples wanting to prevent its damaging effects and rebuild a thriving partnership.

2. Resentment

couple where accumulating negativity will erode relationship over time Yuri A / Shutterstock

Bad character traits or inappropriate behavior might result in building up anger towards the partner. If your loved one makes you feel uncomfortable, you really must discuss it with them.

Otherwise, sooner or later, all the negative emotions you’ve been bottling up will break loose, and you’ll feel resentful and have to face a situation much more serious than a straightforward conversation.

3. Nitpicking

woman making mountains of molehills that will erode relationship over time Dikushin Dmitry / Shutterstock

Problems are inevitable in a relationship, but we have to know which are the important ones. While criticizing the partner for spending unwisely is reasonable, constant bickering or nitpicking about not putting the toilet seat down is annoying. In other words, choose your battles and know what to let go.

Strong relationships are based on mutual compromises, and making a fuss about nothing might become an issue, since it means you can’t accept your partner the way they are.

4. Jealousy

couple with jealousy that will erode their relationship over time Just Life / Shutterstock

This gut rock feelin’ I get inside and I blame you, but it’s really me / It’s my foolish insecurity … these lines from the evergreen “Jealousy” by Frankie Miller say it all. Jealousy is a negative feeling that makes us blame loved ones due to our inner fears.

It’s a serious problem many couples face. What a jealous partner needs to learn is to manage their emotions healthily. Research has argued that jealousy can obstruct open and honest communication, as partners might become hesitant to express their feelings for fear of triggering jealous reactions from their partner.

5. Miscommunication

couple with lack of communication that will erode relationship Kateryna Onyshchuk / Shutterstock

Controlling our emotions is important, but expressing them is crucial. If we can’t share our most intimate thoughts with our loved ones, the relationship is not on the right track.

Miscommunication or the lack of communication is a common problem, and not only because one of the partners is not into talking. Living a busy life may also seriously affect how often the partners discuss things together.

6. Manipulation

couple with manipulative behaviors that will erode relationship f.t.Photographer / Shutterstock

Manipulation helps impose control over another person and is usually done subtly in order to mislead the one who is being manipulated. If your partner is showing such behavior, it’s high time to decide whether you should be with somebody who wants you under their control.

Manipulative tactics like gaslighting, deception, and blame-shifting are designed to make the victim doubt their perceptions and worth. Research has concluded that this constant erosion of self-esteem and trust in oneself inevitably extends to a diminished trust in the manipulator and the relationship's stability.

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7. Fear

couple with fear of loneliness as it erodes relationship New Africa / Shutterstock

This is one of our deepest fears and also a good excuse for some people to stay with a partner they no longer love. But not letting go of the person we cherish no more is a double-edged sword.

Research has shown that individuals with anxious attachment may exhibit clinginess and a constant need for reassurance. On one hand, we are maintaining a relationship that leads to a dead-end street, while on the other hand, we are losing precious time to find a better partner.

8. Dishonesty

couple where lies will erode their relationship over time Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Although white lies are considered innocuous and even healthy for the relationship, if said to spare the partner’s feelings, lying is bad in general.

Studies have concluded that more honest individuals tend to have better relationships and experience greater well-being. Successful relationships are based on trust, and if you find yourself lying to your partner often and for serious things, you have a trust problem and need to resolve it fast.

Maria Hakki is an English teacher, writer, and translator. Her work has appeared in I Heart Intelligence, Australian National Review, and more.