5 Behaviors Manipulative People Use To Overwhelm You With Emotional Whiplash
If manipulators have a playbook, you need one too.
fizkes / Shutterstock Manipulative people often act in strange yet convincing ways. It’s not always easy to tell when you’re being manipulated, and breaking free from it can be even harder. That’s why we’re turning to our “older sister,” TikToker @mewmewsha, who calls herself the grown sibling for the life advice she shares in her content.
In a recent video, she explained that manipulative or narcissistic people often follow a playbook, and the key to stopping them is understanding it. She introduced an acronym called C.R.E.E.P., which stands for charm, rage, envy, entitlement, and pity. These are some of the worst traits you might encounter, but there are ways to break free.
The 5 traits in the C.R.E.E.P. playbook that manipulative people use to overwhelm you:
1. Charm
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“They will act like your soulmate or best friend,” mewmewsha said. “They’ll flatter you and mirror you.” She explained that these people will even adopt your mannerisms, making you feel seen and understood. This effect can be “very intoxicating and very deliberate.”
Dr. George Simon, an expert on manipulators and the author of three bestselling books, backed up this view. "Skilled manipulators can be quite seductive and charming,” he wrote in an article.
The way to fight this, according to mewmewsha, is to wait. "Slow down," she said, "because if it's genuine, that charm will last." And if it's simply fake, and you don't give the manipulator what they want, then you will meet their rage.
2. Rage
“Rage can be loud,” mewmewsha said, “but it can also be quiet.” She went on to explain that raging manipulators are not always explosive, but they can be cold and cruel. Out of nowhere, they may withdraw love and attention. “It is designed to confuse you, guilt you, and make you think you need to fix something because you want to go back to the charming person who was just there a moment ago,” she added.
Her advice for countering this was to detach from the manipulator. “Give them nothing,” she said. “Absorb nothing. And the moment you can, you need to leave.” Dr. Ryan Martin, an expert on unhealthy expressions of anger, agreed when writing for Psychology Today. “In any exchange with an overly angry person, there may come a point when you need to disengage from the situation,” he wrote. He noted that leaving protects your safety and that these situations are unlikely to have a positive resolution.
3. Envy
“Narcissists hate it when you are happy, successful, and independent,” the mewmewsha said, “because it makes you harder to control.” She added that manipulators often act through subtle sabotage, such as undermining your achievements or trying to humble you.
This aligns with an article on Psych Central, reviewed by Dr. Jennifer Litner, which noted, “Sometimes, no matter how much you show up for someone who manipulates, they will change their expectations at the last minute to keep you constantly running toward their ‘goalposts.’”
Long story short, you can never make a manipulator feel proud. They want you to feel like you are not enough and need to rely on them. For that reason, the TikToker advised a simple counter-attack: share less and move in silence. The more the manipulator knows, the more opportunities they will have to sabotage you.
4. Entitlement
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"Since they feel like they own you," mewmewsha said, "they expect access to you, your time, and your energy always." And for that reason, they will get really mad whenever you don't let them do so, and you set boundaries, which is the counter-attack. Don't be their easy access, and show that you have value.
According to CharlieHealth, manipulators will try to use their relationship with you to prevent you from setting boundaries and maintaining distance. That's why it's imperative to set clearly defined rules when it comes to what you're willing to accept within the relationship. The outlet noted, "Boundaries protect your emotional and mental well-being, making it harder for manipulators to take advantage of you. Clearly define what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable in your interactions."
5. Pity
This is their last resort. “When all else fails,” mewmewsha said, “they’ll act like the victim.” She explained that they use your empathy against you. They may cry, act helpless, or bring up old trauma. These manipulators will do anything to make it seem like they are the victim. Indeed, a qualitative study found that family members living with a narcissistic relative reported that they portrayed themselves as a victim.
The way to counter this, she argued, is to be kind, but not nice. "Being nice puts you at risk," mewmewsha said. "It makes you feel responsible and self-sacrificial." Instead, be kind, which means you have compassion with boundaries.
So, are you ready to deal with a creep? Or should we say C.R.E.E.P.? It is important to remember that your emotional well-being comes first. If you notice these manipulative behaviors, it may be time to put yourself first and your power back.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
