9 Kissing Techniques That'll Make Him Break Up With You Immediately

Have you ever tried to kiss someone badly on purpose?

Pretty young woman trying to kiss her boyfriend while sitting together on a couch at home Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

Figuring out how to break up with him is hard and terrible. But figuring out how to kiss a guy is easy and wonderful. Regulate your saliva, go with the flow, and be confident and you are sure to succeed.

Funnily enough, the same tactics could actually be applied to how to break up with someone.

But for some reason that doesn’t make the task any more appealing. But what if you could use your kissing techniques as a tool to end a relationship? That’s right, ditch the dud AND get your quality smoochfest on.


It’s totally possible, you’ve just got to be willing to give up your old kissing techniques and try one of these tried and true methods of getting a guy to run screaming into the sunset, leaving you to your own glorious devices.

Ladies, beware: if you know how to kiss a guy and want him to stay, do not try any of these methods.

RELATED: 25 Signs He Wants To Break Up But Is Scared And Doesn't Know How


Here are 9 kissing techniques that'll make him break up with you immediately:

1. Gently tap out your cellphone number on his incisors using your tongue

When he asks what you’re doing, explain that if he is ever in a life-threatening situation, his teeth will remember your phone number and you will come to rescue him.

2. Sing anything by Tim McGraw into his open mouth without breaking contact

Sky-diving, mountain climbing — all this and more will you do once this guy realizes you want to end things.

3. Dot his top lip with eighty little kisses while saying “smoochie smooch”

When you are done, pull back slightly and say, “I wuv u.” Easy peasy.

RELATED: 15 Crazy Facts About Kissing We Bet You Didn't Know


4. Chew on his lips

Increase your intensity until he panics and flees, remarking as he goes that he is concerned you might be a cannibal.

5. Make sure to put in fake teeth before locking lips

Grin big before you go in for a kiss.

6. Whisper, “I’ve got gingivitis” before slipping him some tongue

Bonus points if you dramatically intone “The gum disease gingivitis” like in that one mouthwash commercial.

RELATED: Why Do We Kiss? Science Explains Why People Kiss To Show Affection

7. Use suction to make intermittent fart sounds with your mouth

It’s hard to get passionate when your mouths keep farting. I predict a date that ends with chagrined giggling in a best-case scenario.


8. Throw up just a little

The key here is to keep it in your own mouth. Tease him with it a little. “Leave him guessing, did she just almost throw up in my mouth?” The uncertainty will be your undoing.

9. Praise his kissing ability

You kiss so good I think I’m pregnant now.”

RELATED: 9 Simple Ways To Break Up With Him Without Being Totally Awful About It


Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance writer, former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango, and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others